HAPPY MOM'S RAMBLINGS

Questions, questions, questions....

2010-09-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

My friend Ruth had this on her blog. I thought it would be fun to answer the questions too.

1. Why did you start blogging?
My oldest child was getting ready to leave home and I knew my youngest wouldn't be far behind. I had a lot to process so I guess this was inexpensive therapy for me. LOL I also wanted a way to be an encouragement for others and to share what God doing in my life and what He was teaching me.

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world with no restriction of costs, where would it be and why?
I would love to see some of the historic places in this country such as Washington D.C., Boston, Plymouth, Gettysburg, and, oh my, there are so many. I love history and have learned about these places but never been there. Then, I would also love to see more of the National Parks. I've been to Yosemite and the Grand Canyon and am always moved by the wonder of God's creation. I would love to see the Northern Lights for the same reason. Then of course there is Israel, Great Britain, Spain (my paternal grandfather, who I never met, was from Spain). Then there is Rome, Greece, the list is never ending of what I would like to see but when you get down to it, I am very content if I never see any of these places. There is much beauty close at hand and I still get great pleasure from reading about all the historic places.

3. Did you have a teacher in school that had a great influence on your life? If so, what?
My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Polluck, was wonderful. She believed in me and inspired me to do my best. I was the quiet kid that stayed out of trouble and did average work and tried to hide from my teacher's notice and up until then I got what I wanted. My teachers really didn't notice me until Mrs. Polluck. She pushed me and encouraged me and challenged me and praised me. I went from being an average student to an honor roll student under her instruction and did well from then on.

4. If you could spend the day with a famous person, who would it be, and what would you do?
Mary the mother of Jesus. I would love to hear from her the details of all that happened that are not in the Bible.

5. Toilet paper – over or under?
Over, it has got to be over. I know it is strange but if I am in someone's house and it is under it really bugs me. I am even tempted to change it. LOL

6. Name one thing in your life that you would do over if possible.
Just one? There are so many times, starting in my teens but continuing on to even recently, that I would stand for what was right instead of just going along.

7. Tell about your pets – if any.
Right now we have two cats and one gold fish, although I am really more of a dog person. Our beautiful dog Lady passed away just a couple months ago. You can read about it here. She is greatly missed. Some day we plan to get another dog but we are not ready yet.

So here are our pets:
This is Spot.

Spot is a beautiful 15 year old female. She is small and delicate. She loves to be brushed because it makes her arthritis feel better. She usually hides when people she doesn't know come over but she is getting less fearful in her old age.

This is Speedy.

Speedy is a large 11 year old male. He is the clown of our home. Sometimes he sleeps in the bath tub and he likes to take showers with us. You read that right, showers. He loves the water. He is always trying to dash out of the house whenever we open a door although the few times he has gotten out without us knowing it he was terrified by the time he finally got back in the house. He just never learns that he is better off inside. He loves attention and if you are sitting he will try to climb up in your lap and nudge away whatever you might have in your hands so you will love on him. If you are busy sorting papers or enjoying a good book or eating it can by very annoying but we love the little pest.

Tivah is our fish. Tivah is Hebrew for hope. Our son won two fish at the County Fair way back when he was just a little boy. I didn't expect them to live a week and one did die right away. Tivah, however, just keeps going and getting bigger and bigger.

8. Do you live in a small town or a large town.
A not-so-small town that still thinks it’s a small town. (Answer stolen from Ruth because it is spot on.)

Feel free to answer these questions too. I would enjoy reading your answers.

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

2010-09-09T10:58:00.000-07:00

I have been pondering this song today: May you be as moved by it as I have been.

How Deep the Father's Love For Us

words and music by Stuart Townend

How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son 
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory 

Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished 

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

If you are reading this on facebook you can hear this song on my blog at: http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Just For Fun

2010-09-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

My son is in this. Enjoy!

Campus Safety Chronicles Episode 5: "Moving-In Day" from Matt Sorensen on Vimeo.

If you are reading this on facebook the video probably didn't transfer. You can see it at: http://vimeo.com/14753677
or visit my blog at: http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

What Can Happen In A Year

2010-08-20T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, our son is back at college. We picked him up at his summer job, enjoyed four short days with him and then loaded up the car and drove to So. Cal. to drop him off at college. This week he is enjoying debate camp with all his debate teammates. Classes start next week.

On the wall of one of the building's, a building where he spends lots of time because it is where the debate coach's office is and where he has many classes, is this sign:

In case you can't read it, it says, "What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God," Micah 6:8. That just happens to be my son's life verse. How very fitting!

Once we got him checked into his dorm and carried his stuff up to his room, we went to the debate office and gave his debate coach a hug. She takes on the mom role for the next few months and I know my son is in good hands.She is loving but very tough when she needs to be.

Bill and I left our son with his team and got some dinner. We checked into our motel room then we went back and met our son. He took us on a night time tour of the campus. As we were wandering around we came across the auditorium where the music camp was taking place. We slipped in the back and participated. One of the university's main touring groups was leading worship. It was wonderful to take the time to worship the Lord and refocus for a few minutes. We walked back to his dorm and then it was time to say good-bye.

Last year when we dropped off our son, Bill and I cried in the car after we left him. This time there were no tears. We knew he was in a good place, the place where God has called him to be and so there is no safer or better place for him. Of course he does crazy, stupid, slightly dangerous things with his friends in the dorms - things that make me cringe and shake my head. In spite of all that, it is obvious that in the last year he has grown and matured in ways we never expected. He left a boy and came home a man - a godly man. What more could a mother ask for?

______________________

During the few days our son was home we went to the Bay Area to celebrate my mother-in law's birthday. Our daughter managed to get the day off work and met us there. It was great to have one last change to see both kids before our son took off again for college.

My awesome kids!

My gangsta kids!

It was also good to see Bill's mom and two of his siblings.


Happy birthday Mom!

"Happy birthday to me!"

Make a wish!

Yep, they are all out!

Tonight is a Luau at the assisted living place where my mom lives and then I meet with my book club ladies at the Yolo County Fair. Good days ahead!

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Why Homeschool and Other Questions

2010-08-14T11:26:00.000-07:00

Many years ago when my hubby and I first began homeschooling our children, I became involved in a local homeschool support group. At first the group was very loosely organized with meetings at the park. Over time it has become more organized and is now a non-profit organization called Woodland Area Christian Home Educators. I served on the board of this group for many years.

This group was my lifeline of encouragement and support during the years we homeschooled. Even though my children have graduated I am still a member. I always gained so much encouragement and wisdom from the more experienced moms. Now it is my desire to be an encouragement to those who are still in the trenches. If I can help one weary mom stay the course concerning what God has called her to do, I will have done a good thing.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:8

"the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things-- that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." Titus 2:3-5

One of the tools WACHE uses to encourage each other that wasn't available back in the "dark ages" when I first started out is an email list where members can ask questions or share resources, etc. Recently one of the moms asked the following questions for anyone in the group that wanted to respond.

1. Why did you begin to homeschool?

2. Why do you continue to homeschool?

3. For those who have finished or almost, looking back, knowing what you know, was it the right choice for you & your family?

Several moms responded including myself. All gave wonderful answers full of insight and godly wisdom. When I wrote my answer I had a very limited amount of time so I just wrote what came to me quickly. In reading it back I realize that I caught a relatively few words what is really in my heart about homeschooling. Since many of you who read this blog are not a part of WACHE I have decided to share my answer here. If you homeschool I hope you will find some encouragement in my answer. If you don't homeschool, I hope you will gain some insight into what causes some people to dedicate so many years of their lives to the spiritual and academic education of their children.

__________________________________________________

I'd be happy to tackle your questions.

1. Why did you begin to homeschool?
The short answer is:   God :-)

The long answer:
When our daughter was about two and our son hadn't been born yet, God began laying the idea of homeschooling on my heart. At the same time God was talking to my husband about homeschooling as well. I didn't want to tell my husband what I was thinking because I thought he would think I was crazy. He didn't want to tell me for the same reason. Once we finally opened up to each other we began researching and went to a homeschool seminar. The speaker was Gregg Harris. That seminar clinched it for us.

The two main reasons God showed us were:
   1) "You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up". (Deut 6:7) Parents are called by God to teach and train their children about God, his commands and what He has done as they go about their daily lives. It is very hard to teach your children God's Word as you go about your life if your children aren't with you most of the day.

   2) "Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." (1 Cor 15:33)

2. Why do you continue to homeschool?
NA My children are 23 and 19 :-)

However, if you are wondering if we ever considered not homeschooling the answer is, not really, at least not seriously. We had bad days, bad weeks and even a few bad years such as the year my dad died and I had to have major surgery. There were times when I felt that I was not doing a very good job and my kids were behind where I wanted them to be. However, what it always came down to was that God told us to homeschool and I needed to trust Him.

Every so often I would have a conversation with God that went something like this: "Look how bad things are going, God. Should I really be homeschooling?"
"Who told you to homeschool?"
"Well, You did God."
"Did I know you were going to face these challenges when I told you to homeschool?"
"Well, of course you did, God."
"Do I love your children?"
"Of course you do, God."
"Have I told you to stop homeschooling?"
"Well, no."
"Then trust Me!"

3. For those who have finished or almost, looking back, knowing what you know, was it the right choice for you & your family?

It was absolutely, without a doubt, unquestionably the right choice for our family. While I didn't do a perfect job of homeschooling and would do a few things differently if I could start over knowing what I know now, I would definitely homeschool my children. God had a good plan for my children and I am now seeing the wonderful fruit of all those years of homeschooling. They are both doing well and most importantly both love God and, while I don't agree with every choice they make, both have held firm to the morals they were raised with.

Good questions, __________!
Michelle

From: http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

My Reading Habits

2010-08-11T11:54:00.000-07:00

I got this from Ruth who got it from who got it from someone else, who got it from someone else, who said it was okay to copy and share! It looked like fun so here are my answers:

1. Favorite childhood book:
Wow this is a tough one right off the bat. There are so many children's classics I loved then and still love, however, the book I read over and over as a child was a book called Bound for Freedom and I don't even know who the author is. I have the book but it is packed away in a box right now. It was about a boy named James in the late 1600s or early 1700s England who is sold by his abusive father into indentured servanthood in America. James was very timid and fearful but by the end of the story he learns that courage isn't the absence of fear but it is in doing what is right even when you are afraid. As someone who was often fearful as a child that book really resonated with me.

2. What are you reading right now?
I am working my way through the Linage of Grace series by Francine Rivers. I just finished the fourth one which is Unspoken. I've read this series before and am enjoying the reread. I am also supposed to be reading 102 Minutes: The Untold Story of the Fight to Survive Inside the Twin Towers by Jim Dwyer, et al. This is the book we are reading for book club but I am having a hard time reading it. With the recent loss of our sweet dog and the first anniversary of my father-in-law's passing I just need to read something more encouraging right now. I am usually one of the first to finish whatever we are reading for book club but this time I probably won't finish at all at least not now. I'm still only eight pages into it after having it a month.

3. What books do you have on request at the library?
None.

4. Bad book habit:
Buying but not reading. My Mount TBR is ridiculous. (copied from Ruth who copied from Carin, but true!)

5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
None.

6. Do you have an e-reader?
Yes, and I love it. My dear hubby got it for me for my 50th birthday. I can download many classic books free. I can make the print larger so it is easier on my 50 year old eyes. It fits in my purse so I can take one thing on trips instead of the pile of books I usually take.

7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
I prefer to read one book at a time, but sometimes I read two, or even three, at a time. If I am reading more than one then they will be different types for example I might be reading a fiction book and a book on Christian living at the same time.

8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
Yes, but I think it has more to do with the other changes in my life and not with the blog . I went from a busy homeschool mom to an empty nest. I also think being in a book club has gotten me reading things I wouldn't have read otherwise.

9. Least favorite book you read this year:
I can't think of any books I read this year that I didn't like at all.

10. Favorite book I’ve read this year:
The Scarlet Thread by Francine Rivers.

11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
A lot because of the book club.

12. What is your reading comfort zone?
My favorite books are Christian fiction and classics such as the works of Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte. I also love some of the older what would be considered youth or children's literature such as the works of Lucy Maud Montgomery, Louisa May Alcott. and Frances Hodgson Burnet. Even though they are considered children's literature I love them as an adult and get so much more out of them now than I did as a child.

13. Can you read on the bus?
I can read in moving vehicles for short bursts but not for a long time.

14. Favorite place to read:
Curled up in my recliner.

15. What’s your policy on book lending?
I loan books, but I’ve had to let go of getting upset if they don’t come back. I won’t lend books I can’t live without anymore.

16. Do you dogear your books?
Only on rare occasions (sorry Ruth). I usually use bookmarks or post-it notes.

17. Do you write notes in the margins of your books?
No, not usually. I will sometimes use a post-it note. The exception, of course, is my Bible which I do mark a lot.

18. Do you break/crack the spine of your books?
Not on purpose. Do people do that on purpose?

19. What is your favorite language to read?
I can really only read English.

20. What makes you love a book?
Well developed characters, well written language, and that something about it that draws you in so that you really care about the characters and the outcome. I also tend not to like books that leave you hanging and wondering and I don't like books that end on a really downer or hopeless/depressing note. It can have a sad ending but if there is nothing positive or hopeful about the outcome I tend not to like it.

21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
I typically recommend books that I think people will like based on their reading tastes. There are few books that I recommend because I liked them so much I want others to read it so we can talk about the book together. (Answer stolen from Ruth but it is exactly how I feel.)

22. Favorite genre:
Christian Fiction and Classics

23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did):
Sci-fi. My kids read sci-fi.

24. Favorite Biography:
Umm... not sure I have a favorite. I read biographies but none jumps out at me as a favorite.

25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
Yes, several. Not generally my favorite type of book but sometimes you can get something helpful from them at times. On of my favorites in this category is The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It gave me a lot of insight into how to show love to others, especially my husband and children. It also showed me how to communicate to my husband what would help me feel more loved. I know he loves me but we really do speak different love languages and I didn't feel loved when he was showing love only through the language he best understood for himself.

26. Favorite Cookbook:
That's a hard one. I have tons of cookbooks and use a few recipes from each.

27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction):
This year would probably be The Scarlet Thread by Francine Rivers

28. Favorite reading snack:
Tea and popcorn or dark chocolate candies.

29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience:
Can't think of one.

30. How often do you agree with the critics about about a book?
I don’t read a lot of critics reviews of books.

31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
If I don't enjoy a book I'm honest about it but recognize that someone else might feel very differently about the same book.

32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you choose?
Hmm...not sure.

33. Most intimidating book I’ve read
Hmm...not sure.

34. Most intimidating book I’m too nervous to begin:
War and Peace because of it's length, I suppose.

35. Favorite Poet:
I don't have a favorite poet but like a lot of poems from many different poets

36. How many books do you usually have checked out from the library at any given time?
I don't actually use the library that much. Especially now that I'm not homeschooling anymore.

37. How often do you return books to the library unread?
NA

38. Favorite fictional character:
Anne Shirley from Anne of Green Gables

39. Favorite fictional villain:
Probably Mr. Wickham from Pride and Prejudice. At least that's who came first to my mind at the moment.

40. Books I’m most likely to bring on vacation:
Fun fiction, old favorites, or something I've been looking forward to reading for a while.

41. The longest I’ve gone without reading:
No reading at all? I’m always, always reading something! I'm almost compulsive. I actually have withdrawals if I don't read. If there is a magazine, newspaper or other reading material sitting on a table I have to look at it. I can't not read.

The longest without reading for pure pleasure? I think it may have been nearly a year, back when I was busy being a home school mom. I had so much reading to do for school, that I didn’t dare take time for fun stuff during the school year.

42. Name a book you could/would not finish:
Evening by Susan Minot. This was a book we did for book club and the author didn't use quotations marks. Almost everyone in the book club had a hard time with it because of that. Those marks really do make a difference in readability.

43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
If my hubby turns on the TV while I'm reading I can get sucked into what he is watching if it is at all interesting.

44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel:
Pride and Prejudice, the Colin Firth version and the old 1986 BBC version of Mansfield Park with Sylvestra Le Touzel and Nicholas Farrell. Both are very long, around five hours so I don't watch them very often but on those rare occaisions when I indulge I get lost for a time Jane Austen's wonderful world.

45. Most disappointing film adaptation:
Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story. I loved the first two movies with Megan Follows playing Anne but this one really disappointed me. The book based on Anne's early married life Anne's House of Dreams is my favorite in the whole series.I LOVE that book and reread it at least every other year. For the movie they wrote a completely different story that was NOTHING like the book at all. The story in the book was so much better than the story they wrote for the movie. I was extremely disappointed!

46. Most money I’ve ever spent in a bookstore at one time:
Not sure. I homeschooled for years and have spent lots and lots on books.

47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
Not often. I look at what it says about it on the front and back of the cover.

48. What would cause you to stop reading a book halfway through?
If the story is vulgar for sure. Otherwise, I used to force myself to finish a book once I started it but now as I've gotten older I've come to the conclusion that life is too short. If I'm not enjoying a book after about 50 pages or so I will sometimes let it go.

49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
Yes, I try. I like to reread favorites so I try to keep my books organized so I can find whatever book I want to reread.

50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once they’ve been read?
I keep books I like because I may want to reread sometime in the future. I used to keep almost all books but I recently gave away probably over a hundred books and I now have a better handle on what books I have and discovered some books I forgot I had and I've never read and want to read them. I want to be better about getting rid of books that I will never read again so the book I love will be more accessible.

51. Are there any books that you’ve been avoiding?
102 Minutes as I've already mentioned.

52. Name a book that made you angry:
I try to choose my books carefully enough to avoid reading things that are likely to make me angry. Certain political books are examples of things that would upset me if I did read them.

53. A book I didn’t expect to like but did:
The Devil in the White City by Erik Larson. This was a book club book about the events surrounding the 1893 Chicago World's Fair including a serial killer who stalked young women. I commented during one book club meeting that I enjoyed reading the sections that focused on the serial killer more than the sections that focused on the construction of the fair and it became a running joke that I like books about serial killers when in reality it is the only book I've ever read about a serial killer.

54. A book I expected to like but didn’t:
Evening by Susan Minot.

55. Favorite guilt-free guilty pleasure reading:
Short Christian Romances by Janette Oke and others.

Do you want to take the quiz? Go ahead and post the questionnaire on your blog and comment here so I know to look!

Good-bye Dear Sweet Lady

2010-08-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

I have not blogged about this until now because I have been processing and not emotionally ready to put it in print until now.

Early in July we realized that our sweet little dog, Lady, had lost a lot of weight in a very short time. The vet ran some tests and we learned that she had liver disease. Liver disease is one of those things that by the time symptoms show up it is usually already very advanced. To make a long story short we have spent the last few weeks caring for a very sick dog and last Saturday she reached the point where my husband and I knew it was time. We spent the last couple hours of her life taking turns holding her. We took her into the vet's office and stayed with her loving on her and petting her. She was calm and unafraid.

It's been almost a week and yet every morning I start to open the door to my son's room where she used to sleep. Then I remember, she's not in there anymore. During the day as I'm working around the house I glance out the back door and expect to see her looking through the glass or laying on the ground outside. Then I remember, she's not here anymore. When the door-bell rings I still expect her to be right there by my side as I open the door ready to welcome with love if she knows the person outside, greet cautiously if she doesn't know them or bark ferociously if I act like I don't know them. There will be no more walks with her, no more rolling on the floor with her, no more giving her belly rubs, no more getting licked all over.

It's amazing how our pets become a part of our family. They give us unconditional love, laughter and companionship and when they are gone they leave a big hole in your home and your heart.

Good-bye dear sweet Lady. Thank you for the years of love you have given us.

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Seasons & Vacations

2010-07-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

The last few years until a few months ago have been exhausting. I wore so many hats: wife, mother, homeschool teacher, debate mom, daughter to elderly mom, homemaker, cook, chauffeur, elder's wife, WACHE (homeschool group) Librarian, etc., etc., etc. I was trying to do so many thing and sometimes felt I was doing nothing very well. Now many of the hats are gone or have grown significantly smaller.

For the first time in years, I have had some wiggle room and I'm enjoying it. I'm getting my house de-clluttered from years of homeschooling. I have sold or given away probably over a hundred books and still have more I'm sorting through. I'm reading books for fun instead of to prepare lessons. I''m writing for fun. I'm exercising regularly with my dear hubby. I have time to cook healthy meals. After years of feeling that I really didn't have many friends at Church because I was too busy to really connect with people, I am rediscovering friendships and building new ones.I have rediscovered the healing pleasure of laughing hysterically with other women. Life is good!

I'm, also, still re-working the novel I wrote for NaNoWriMo last November and have really enjoyed the process. Every time I think it is almost finished, something jumps out at me that needs reworking. I love the story I've written but feel I lack the skill to do it justice so I keep tweaking and rewording. I'm beginning to think I will never really be done with it. But that's okay, it's been fun!

My husband is also enjoying an easier pace. After years of being over worked and playing catch-up at his job, he is caught up and not as busy. Before when he took time off it was to take our son to a debate tournament. For the first time in years he is taking time off for fun day trips, just he and I, or to get things done around the house. We can see the floor of our garage for the first time in years. Singing is something he enjoys and is good at but hadn't had the time to do in any significant way for many years. A few months ago he joined a barbershop chorus and is using his awesome bass voice again. He is more relaxed than I've seen him in years and that is a good thing.

All this is to say, I'm enjoying having a life that is not so busy. I'm not constantly on the go. The pace of my life is calm with only occasional bursts of busyness instead of constant frantic activity. I have no desire to pick up more hats and go back to a more hectic pace.

However, I keep hearing messages at Church and other places that say, "Don't let yourself get too comfortable. Don't stay in a rut. It's a marathon, not a sprint. God want's to do more through us. There's more, more, more!"

At our Ladies Group on Tuesday night our pastor's wife gave a wonderful talk about all the plates we as women have to keep spinning. I could relate to what she was talking about so well, but I also felt that I don't want to spin lots of plates anymore. I feel that I have yet to recover from years of constant plate spinning and I don't want to ever spin so many plates again. I'm done - or at least that's how I feel.

I have fully embraced the new season in my life. While I miss my kids, I enjoy the empty nest and I am enjoying more time with my dear hubby. These messages I keep hearing, however, make me wonder if this peaceful time in my life is just a brief vacation and not the new more peaceful season I'd hoped it was. Something inside me rebels against that thought. I will accept whatever God's plan is for my life but I hope He isn't sending a crate of shiny new plates for me to spin.

Is it wrong to want to take life a little slower, to have time to smell the flowers instead of dashing past them in a blur of activity? Is it wrong to have the time to make and maintain order and beauty in my home? Is it wrong to have time to just be with and enjoy the wonderful godly man I married. Is it wrong to have the time to be still and know that my God is God?

"Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10

Catching up.

2010-07-25T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how it has happened that I haven't updated this blog in months. I've been doing lots of writing just not blogging. I've also been working on getting my house better organized and I've been enjoying being home.

Our daughter, Jennifer, graduated from college in May. She graduated summa cum laude which means "with highest honors." We are so very proud of her accomplishment. Here's a few pictures from the big day:

Jennifer in front of the chapel on campus

Our beautiful daughter

Our wonderful son

Jessica, Jennifer and Audrey

The handshake

Jennifer with her proud parents

Our son, Will, finished his freshman year of college and is working at a Christian conference center for the summer. The same one that Jennifer worked at last summer. It is located in the Santa Cruz mountains very close to where Jennifer is living and working. They see each other often. In August he will come home for a few days and then head back to college.

I hope to blog again soon. No promises though. :-)

Fulfillment

2010-04-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

The other day at a gathering my husband told someone that I quit my job so I could stay home and take care of him. That person seemed immediately to be concerned.

"What are you doing for you?" she asked.

I didn't know how to answer. I'm taking care of my husband and home. That's important to me and I finally have the time to do the things I enjoy like reading and writing. But how do I explain that? How do I put that into words?

When I looked confused by her question and didn't tell her what she wanted to hear, she immediately started listing ideas and making suggestions from taking up knitting and joining a knitting group to volunteering at a local school or somewhere. I tried to communicate that I was doing what I enjoy already but the idea that I could be fulfilled at home just didn't seem to register. She kept trying to convince me that I needed to get out of the house and do something to keep busy and find fulfillment. I felt so frustrated talking to her because I don't need to be any busier than I already am, thank you very much, and I am very fulfilled. I am far more fulfilled now than when I was working outside the home. I left that conversation feeling dissatisfied that I didn't communicate to her how very full and fulfilling my life is for me right now. I want to be home. I didn't sacrifice anything but money to leave my job and come home.

My husband and I had to learn the hard way that God has called me to be a keeper of the home. We had to see first hand that we are both happier and healthier when I am home. That doesn't mean I can't do other things too. I could join a knitting group if I wanted or volunteer somewhere and I might find some enjoyment doing those things. However, that is not where my fulfillment lies. My fulfillment comes from being in the center of God's will for my life and that is being home and taking care of the needs of my husband.

I wish I could have communicated that better to that dear woman. I know her concern for me was real....but I also don't think she wanted to hear what I really thought and felt. It just doesn't fit with the world's "wisdom" in this day and age.

I am a liberated woman! I am free to do what God has called me to do and to enjoy every minute of it. I am blessed beyond words.

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

The Joys of Being a Keeper of the Home

2010-04-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

I know I said that I would blog more once I quit my job. I have just been so busy enjoying being home, enjoying the fruit of my labor and even enjoying the empty nest. Life is good!

In the weeks since I stopped working outside the home I have worked on cleaning and decluttering and the difference is amazing. While I certainly have a lot more to do I feel like I have crossed a line and for the first time in years I am happy about how my house looks.

The old sofa that was falling apart has been replaced by his and hers recliners. This is the last purchase made from the money I earned at my job. Bill and I searched and each picked out a recliner that fit us. Mine is much smaller than my six-foot two-inch husband's. It supports my back perfectly and is so comfortable. Before I go on you need to understand something. I almost never sleep during the day. I just can't fall asleep. Well, on the day the recliners arrived I sat in mine in the middle of the afternoon and closed my eyes thinking I would just relax in my new recliner for a few minutes. Sometime later I woke up stunned to realize that I had been asleep. That is how comfortable my recliner is. Now I haven't slept in it since but it is so relaxing and comfortable. I like to put on soft praise and worship music, close my eyes and just recline and be at peace.

My husband is happy because he is getting home cooking again on a regular basis and even lunches to take to work and I am even enjoying the process. I am trying hard to fix healthy and delicious meals. Cooking is still not my favorite thing but I am so grateful to be home that I don't mind it as much.

Yesterday I started a small herb garden at my sunny kitchen window. At Big Lots I found a shelf for $6 that is supposed to go over the sink but I found it wasn't quite long enough and tall enough to go over the sink but is perfect to raise my plants to the height of the window from the counter right next to the sink. This leaves my counter space free and gives the growing plants full access to the sun. I have parsley, basil rosemary,and thyme. (Not exactly the song lyric but close.) I chose those because those are herbs I use in my cooking a lot. I am looking forward to when they grow a little bigger and I am able to use cuttings from them in my cooking.

Bill and I have also been working on getting healthier. We joined a health club and have been exercising three mornings a week. This requires us to get up at 6am. I know, I know, no sane person is up and that hour! I guess that settles it, we aren't quite sane.

Best of all, after we get home, Bill gets ready for work and then we usually spend a few minutes with the Lord together. On the days we don't work out we get to sleep a little later then spend our time together with the Lord before Bill goes to work. Depending on how much time we have before Bill needs to leave we might sing some praise songs, read the Bible, and pray. Some days I read aloud from the Bible while Bill eats and our prayertime is very quick. Other days we have more time. Either way this has been a wonderful and special time for us. For our Bible reading together we have been reading a Psalm a day and discussing it. We are loving the Psalms more and more every day. Many days whatever Psalm we are reading seems to hit exacting what we have been struggling with or feeling. We have found so many nuggets.

As I look around my house I feel so blessed to be here. Yes, the twenty-four year old carpet is still stained and torn, the kitchen cabinets still need replacing, the kitchen linoleum is still ripped and stained but as I look around my house all I can think is, "This is so beautiful! I'm glad I'm home!"

HOMECOMING!

2010-02-24T09:25:00.000-08:00

I know I have been terrible at keeping up with this blog. It seems that ever since I started working outside the home, many of the things that I enjoy, such as writing, and many of the things that I consider priorities, such as preparing healthy meals and getting exercise, have been neglected. Even though it is only a part time job, it often feels like full time. The time that I have spent out in the working world has been quite an education for my husband and I.

We had thought that with no children left at home that it only made sense for me to go out and earn money. After all, we had taken out loans to pay for our children’s college and our house needs so many things to be repaired or replaced. It only seemed logical to both of us that it would help if I could earn some money. I was no longer homeschooling so I should get a job. In the four months of my being employed outside the home, we have learned that for our family the cost of me working outside the home is just too high.

We had thought that with no children home we would have lots more time together and we did, until I started working outside the home. Our work schedules just kept missing each other. Whenever my husband was off work, it seemed that I would be working and the days that I got off were almost always my husband’s work days. Our time together has been very limited in the last few months.

Too often in the last few months my husband has come home from work to an empty house. The table was not set for dinner and there was no meal cooking on the stove for him. I would not be getting off work for several more hours. Junk food or grazing the free samples at Costco became the norm for him and for me on the days that I worked. We were eating unhealthy food and not spending time in conversation around the dinner table.

We had thought that with no children home, I would have a lot more time to spend with my ninety year old mom. With me at work all the time that just wasn’t happening. I don’t want to lose the precious time I have left with her. I want to spend time looking at her old photos and writing down who is in all those pictures. I want to sit and listen to her stories….yes, even when I’ve heard them all numerous times before. I know too well that someday it will be too late to do all those things.

I took the job partly so that we would have money to do things that need to be done around the house and we have. Thanks to my job we now have wonderful new shower doors in the master bathroom and we have a new lawn mower that works consistently and we have two beautiful chairs on order to replace the sofa that is falling apart. However, the many things that need to be done around our house that don’t cost much money such as cleaning out the garage and painting my son’s old room have been put on hold because I wasn’t home to do them.

Finally, the repetitive nature of the things I do at work caused a major flare-up of the mild carpel tunnel syndrome that I have kept well under control for years. Before, when I had the rare occasional twinges I could easily adjust my activities to rest my hand and wrist for a day or two and the problem was solved. Now, however, I am being awakened several times a night by my hand going pins and needles as well as having that horrible tingling feeling occur numerous times throughout the day along with mild pain. Worst is the knowledge that I can’t change my activities to stop the problem. I am being paid to keep doing the very things that are causing the flare-up. I know so many people who have had surgery for carpel tunnel. Is the little bit of money I am making in a part-time job worth having to have that surgery?

Is the little bit of money I am making worth the cost?

In case you haven’t guessed, Bill and I have come to the conclusion that I should quit my job. We have evaluated our budget and discovered that by God’s grace we can make our bills without my income, we just can’t do most of the extra things we had planned to do. New carpeting and refinishing the kitchen cabinets will have to wait a few more years. Somehow those things just don’t seem as important as they did before. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. Our old beat-up house is looking more beautiful all the time.

In the last four months, I have met some wonderful people, my co-workers. I have gotten a close look at the struggles of single moms desperately trying to provide for their children, married women who have to work to make ends meet and senior citizens who need to work part time because social security just doesn’t cover their bills. I have come to appreciate the life I have been blessed with even more than I already did as I have come to know these wonderful hard working people. I have also learned how wrong my quick first assumptions can be when the co-worker that struck me as the most rough and least likely for me to get along with began singing praise songs as she set up her table and boldly told customers to, “Have a blessed day!” I will miss many of these wonderful people.

I think God blessed me with this job for a season so both Bill and I would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that for our family, even with our children grown and gone, I should be home. In this day and age, being a keeper of the home or homemaker is not valued by the world but after this brief glimpse at the other side, Bill and I have come to value of that important role. This may not be what God has for every family, but we are confident that this is His plan for ours.

I thank God for my job because we have learned so much about what matters and I thank God that after March 5, I will no longer have a job. I have given my two weeks notice. My boss has told me that I have a job waiting for me if I ever want it. I am grateful for that. There is comfort in knowing that she wants me back and that if our situation ever changes I have that option but, I doubt I will ever take her up on it.

In the weeks to come I hope to begin writing again. I hope to once again update this blog regularly. I hope to once again open the files that contain my novel and continue polishing, not because I necessarily expect to someday publish it, but because the creative process of writing is just plain fun for me. I hope to have time to read for fun more. I hope to spend more time with my mom. I hope to exercise and once again have healthy meals on the table most evenings. Finally, I hope to continue de-cluttering my home and beautifying what I can inexpensively. I am coming home!

This post is from http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Work

2010-01-20T12:03:00.000-08:00

I know I have been terrible about keeping up this blog lately. My job has been taking more of my time than I had expected at first. Although I usually only get scheduled for one or two days a week I end up getting called in often. Because I don't have another job or school like many of my co-workers, my boss knows I have a more open schedule and I am one of the first people she calls when she needs someone in a hurry. I have worked as many as four days a week.

There are some drawbacks to this. During the month that my son was home for Christmas, I was often at work. I didn't get to spend as much time with him as I would have liked. Often I am working late on the evenings that my husband actually gets off work on time or on his days off and I am home on the evenings my husband has to work late. For some reason our schedules just haven't matched well. My poor husband doesn't cook and has had to survive on sandwiches or coming out to Costco and eating some of the free samples. I jokingly call him my stalker at work. It is hard to plan meals when you never know for sure if you will be home at dinnertime. If I take some chicken out of the freezer, it can end up sitting in my refrigerator for several days before I can actually use it.

However, there have also been great benefits to my working. The money I am earning is being set aside for home repairs. Today we had new shower doors installed in the master bathroom and they are the first of many needed repairs. I look forward to repairing or replacing all the things that children, pets and everyday wear and tear over the last twenty-three years have worn out. It is wonderful to see in a very tangible way the results of my labor. I think our next project will be painting our son's bedroom and down the road will be replacing kitchen cabinets and eventually replacing all the carpeting in the house. There are many other things on our list but those are the biggies.

I do miss being home. I enjoy and try to make the most of each day I do get to be at home. When I am home I work hard at catching up on housework and laundry. I'm still enjoying going to a Ladies Bible Study on Tuesday mornings and now on Wednesday evenings I am enjoying taking a Systematic Theology class taught by our pastor. Life is busy and good.

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

A Blissfully Happy Life!

2010-01-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

If you are on Facebook you know that there are these quizzes you can take about anything and everything. Most of them are just plain silly and I sometimes take them just for a laugh. Every once in a while I get a result, however, that makes me stop and think. This is what happened a few days ago when I took the quiz, "Which TV mom are you?" Since I have an empty nest now, I took the quiz based on how I thought and acted when both my children were still living at home. This is the result I got:

Michelle took the Which TV Mom are You? quiz and the result is June Cleaver.
You are a blissfully happy stay-at-home mom who is completely dedicated to the care of your family. Your life is too good to be true. Really!

There was just so much truth in that result that it stopped me cold. I really did love being a stay-at-home mom. I didn't have any desire to be or do anything else. It wasn't from lack of ambition. Far from it, I see motherhood as being one of the highest callings a person can have. What job can be more important than raising and teaching the next generation? Almost anything else is a step down in significance although I know the world usually thinks otherwise.

So now that my children are grown and gone and I am working outside the home, I look back on what I had with such gratitude. I was blessed with the best possible life for so many years. Of course, it was at times exhausting, challenging and frustrating but I wouldn't trade those years for any high paying job there is. I love the life I have lived.

Why am I writing all this? I guess I just want to thank my dear husband for being supportive of my being a stay-at-home mom for so many years. I want to thank him for having the vision to see the importance of my doing what I was doing even though I wasn't bringing in any money. I want to thank him for being supportive of homeschoooling even though it cost us money. I want to thank him for doing without all the toys and gadgets he could have bought if I had been bringing in an income. I want to thank him for being willing to drive old clunkers instead of getting expensive new cars. I want to thank him for devoting his time off from his job to doing things with our children. I want to thank him for putting up with the clutter of having a school in our home and the messes our children made and not demanding a perfect looking house. I want to thank him for seeing beyond the craziness of our life to the goal - the vision we had for our children. Now as we see the wonderful adults our children have become we can look back and know that it truly was worth every sacrifice. We gave up material wealth for something far more lasting.

Bill, I want you to know how grateful I am that you had a vision for what was most valuable. I am blessed to have you for my husband and our children are blessed to have you for a father.

Quick Catch-up

2009-12-28T10:20:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas full of all the blessings that come from knowing the One whose birth we celebrate.

We enjoyed a quiet Christmas Eve at home with our children. Our daughter, Jennifer, got off work that day at about 5pm pm. and drove home arriving at about 7:30 or so. My mom joined us and we had our traditional Christmas Eve lasagna, salad and garlic bread and for dessert our traditional chocolate cake with orange sherbet ice cream.

On Christmas day, the kids and I went to the Bay Area to celebrate with my hubby's family. Sadly, my dear hubby had a bad cold and we decided that it would be best for him to stay home and rest. We left there at about 7:30pm with our daughter heading back to her apartment in Scotts Valley and Will and I heading home.

It was wonderful getting to see our daughter but the time was just too short. Bill and I are planning to go and visit her sometime in January. She has done tremendously in school and will receive her diploma Summa Cum Laude (with highest honors) at the graduation ceremony in May. We are so very proud of her.

Our son, Will, will be heading back to college in a couple of weeks. We are so proud of him. In his first semester at college he managed to get a GPA of 3.93.

In other news, during the last couple of weeks I have been working a lot because of Christmas. I enjoy doing the demos although I must admit that at first standing all day was hard. I wouldn't feel it so much at work but when I got off, by the time I had driven home, my feet would be throbbing and it would be all I could do to walk into the house and sit down. I've now gotten to the point where my feet only hurt instead of throb. I think that is a great improvement and I'm confident that I will get to the point where I can actually do stuff after work without being in pain.

Things have been so busy the last couple of weeks that I haven't been able to work on revising my novel very much so those of you who have asked to read it will just have to wait. I'm guessing it will take a few months to get it the way I want it.

I hope when things slow down that I will be able to update this blog more often. My prayer for each of you is that you have a blessed New Year.

What Christmas Is All About!

2009-12-21T10:06:00.000-08:00

My thanks to Audrey for putting this on Facebook. This is my favorite part from one of my favorite Christmas movies. It pretty much says it all.

If you are reading this on Facebook, here is the link to the video.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pn10FF-FQfs&feature=player_embedded

From http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Roots and Wings

2009-12-05T10:01:00.000-08:00

In one week both my children will have turned in all their papers and taken their final exams. My son will be done with his FIRST semester of college and my daughter will be finished with her LAST semester of college.

In just one week, my son will come home the triumphant college student. He has had lots of fun at college and made many new friends but he has also worked very hard and done well in his classes. He has grown and matured in many ways. I am so proud of my young man. For about a month, I will once again experience the joys of hearing loud music blasting from his room, of tripping over size 13 shoes while walking across the living room, of not being able to keep enough food in the house, and of finding the sink full of dishes when I thought everything was clean. It will be such a joy to have him home again and I will treasure the time because I know it will fly by and he will all too soon be heading back to college.

One week from today my daughter will have earned her BA and be an independent working woman. She has worked so hard to reach this point and I am so very proud of her. Last summer she worked long hours at her summer job in order to save the money to get into an apartment. Then she searched all over the area to find a cute little apartment that she could afford if she was very frugal. During her last semester she went to school full time and worked part time in order to be able to pay for her apartment and expenses. She encountered some obstacles that threatened to destroy her dream of staying in the Santa Cruz area, but God was faithful and ultimately moved mountains on her behalf. Then, in early November she set about looking for a full time job for after college. She soon found one, the only problem was they needed her November 20. That didn't stop her. Since November 20 she has both worked full time and gone to school full time. She has shown herself to be a responsible, hard working woman. I am so very proud of all that but what blesses me the most is that she is a woman of integrity and faith in God. I am blessed beyond words.

Still, there is a bittersweet feeling in knowing that my little girl is all grown up, graduated from college and living on her own. When she went off to college there was always the sense that she would someday come back home at least for a while, but now there is a finality. Any visits home will be just that, visits.

When we were raising our children we tried to give them both roots and wings. So now that our precious daughter is flying solo and doing a good job of it too, why do I get a lump in my throat?

If you are reading this on facebook there is a video that probably didn't transfer, you can see it at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/. Look for the post titled Roots and Wings from December 5, 2009.

This was originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

100 years

2009-12-02T07:34:00.000-08:00

If he were still alive, my father would be 100 years old today. That's right, my dad was born on December 2, 1909.

Sam Ramon Ramos, December 2, 1909 - June 29, 2004

He spent many years as a seaman and served in WW II as a Merchant Marine.

He and my mom met during the summer of 1949

They got married on June 25, 1950

My dad with my older sister Patricia

My dad with my sister and I.

My dad and I

My mom and dad

My wedding, June 26, 1982

My mom and dad

At Disneyland with their grandchildren

A wonderful grandpa

Remembering his years of service in WWII

Love you dad!

College Life

2009-12-01T21:37:00.000-08:00

So this is what all the money we are spending for college is going for:

Each floor of the boys' dorm performed and the girls voted for the floor they thought did the best. This video is my son's floor. They won the vote, of course. You can see my son about halfway through. He is the second black shirt from the left.

If you are reading this on facebook you can find the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkQMNPFmdIY

This is a post from http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/.

Well I Did It!

2009-11-29T22:12:00.000-08:00

50,000 words in 30 days, that was the goal. Now at the end of November I have very sore fingers and 56,114 words that comprise what is really only the rough draft of a novel. I think I have a pretty good story in seed form. There is much work that is left to be done. I will probably spend the next several months proof-reading, reworking and improving what I have written. There is one whole sub-plot that I really want to strengthen. Other parts were easier to write so I glossed over this one sub-plot. However, if written right I think it could be a very powerful part of the whole. So while I may have won the NaNoWriMo challenge I still have a lot of work to do. I have to admit I enjoyed the process far more than I expected. I might be doing more writing just because it is fun.

A few of you have asked questions about my novel so here are the answers:

Title: No Two More Different

Genre: Christian Romance

Synopsis: Twenty-year old Jason has been in and out of trouble with the law since he was in his early teens. With an alcoholic and abusive father and a mother too intimidated to protect her son, Jason is full of anger and hate. When he meets sixteen year old Rachel, the smart but naive Christian home-schooled girl who has always been curious about the rougher, edgier world outside the safety of the Christian Home-school bubble she had been raised in, he has never been more enchanted by anyone before and is determined to win her. Will Rachel be drawn away from the values she was raised with or will Jason discover the Truth that makes Rachel so special? What will happen when Rachel meets Peter, the handsome popular young man from a wealthy church-going family? Will Rachel sacrifice her heart’s desire for what looks right and everyone expects? And what of Rachel’s parents, Mike and Susan, the devoted Christian couple who have grown apart during the busy years of earning a living and raising children? Now that their children are leaving the nest will they rediscover each other again or will they live the rest of their lives as lonely, strangers in the same house?

Some of you have asked when you can you read it: If you really want to read it I will let you after I have finished all the reworking that needs to be done. Someone once that that an author never really finishes a work they just finally reach a point where they give up trying to improve it any more. So when I give up I will let you know. I may at some point want others to proof-read it and give their input. If you might be interested in doing that some time in the future then please let me know.

Catching Up

2009-11-16T09:09:00.000-08:00

I just realized I haven't updated this blog in a while. My life has been a comfortable busy. Here is a brief update of what has been going on.

Work:
I have been averaging about two shifts a week at my new job. Overall I like my job. The one thing I don't like is that there are lots of unwritten rules. I don't find out about the rules until I unknowingly break one. For example, there are large garbage cans all over Costco. Each demonstrator also has a small garbage can. Demonstrators are not supposed to put any of the garbage from their demonstration (ie, empty cans or packaging) in the big garbage can. If our little garbage can gets full we have to put a new bag in and just store the full bag under our demo table until our shift is over and we can take it to the big garbage in the bowels of the warehouse. I also found out that I am not supposed to wear my apron while I'm on break. All of these rules are easy enough to follow if I know about them but every time I work I unknowingly break a rule or two and only find out when someone points it out to me. I am the kind of person that avoids breaking rules so it is frustrating to find out that I have broken a rule even though it was unintentional.

Otherwise I am enjoying the job. Some of my friends have laughed at the idea of quiet Michelle having a job that requires me to talk all the time. However, I have always been good at customer service and I can put on "chatty" when I need to, especially when I have something specific to talk about and am not needing to just come up with something. That's why I can teach classes at church or help lead a small group. In those situations I have something specific to talk/teach about. In reality, my job is basically teaching customers about a specific product. That I can do easily enough.

NaNoWriMo:
I have also been busy working on my novel for NaNoWriMo. I have really been enjoying the process. I have written about 33,000 words so far and really like the story I have come up with. There are days when I write a lot and days when I don't write anything but the story is always in the back of my mind.

Church Christmas Program:
I am also taking part in our church's Christmas program, For Unto Y'all, an old west retelling of the Nativity story. There is practice every Monday night and time spent learning the songs and my one line. I play the part of Lila Lawson, a school teacher in a prairie town that's so small they haven't built a school house yet.

Fireproof Small Group:
Last Wednesday we wrapped up the last session in our six week small group series based on the movie Fireproof. We had a wonderful group and I think everyone benefited from it. Although it was a wonderful group and I will miss it, I will also be glad to have Wednesday evenings open again. With the holidays coming I know things will be getting busy.

Our Son's Debate Tournament:
Last weekend (November 7-8) my son, Will, was in Stockton at UOP for a debate tournament. Bill and I went to UOP and got to watch our son and his partner, Brianna, debate. We got to meet some of his teammates and we got to spend some time talking with his coach.

It was so much more relaxing and enjoyable for Bill and I than the high school tournaments we spent years going to. Why? We had no responsibilities. We did not have to judge or time. It didn't matter if we weren't there when the first round started early in the morning or when the last round ended at night. All we had to do was watch our son debate and spend time with he and his friends.

On Sunday afternoon after out-rounds were announced and my son knew for sure that he wasn't going to be debating anymore in the tournament, he asked his coach if he could go home for the night. In the end, Will and one of his friends named Kenji came home with us on Sunday. Once home, our son immediately went in search of some of his Woodland friends taking Kenji with him. We did all have dinner together which was nice. On Monday morning I needed to have the boys back in Stockton by 9:30am so they could climb in the van with the rest of their teammates and head back to school in So Cal.

It was really wonderful seeing our son. He is doing so well and seems happy. I really like his friends on the debate team and I really like his coach. I feel I can trust her to keep an eye out for my son and apply tough love when necessary.

In Closing:
I hope to write on this blog again before Thanksgiving but just in case I don't:

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

What's Going On?

2009-11-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

I thought I should write a quick update on how things are going.

NaNoWriMo:
My NaNoWriMo profile: http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/532224

So far in the last four days I have written (typed) over ten thousand words and am well into the sixth chapter. All the main characters, except one who doesn't come into the story until later, have been introduced and the plot is well underway.

Although I had a plot outline and a description of each character before I started, the characters are becoming more real and taking on a life of their own. I'm discovering the little quirks about who they really are. All people have quirks after all. Even the good guys, the heroes, have their little faults and the bad guys have their moments of shining. Because of this the story has taken some turns that weren't in my original outline but that I realized were necessary to the story to make it more like real life and to make the characters more real and more believable.

I am enjoying the process more than I thought I would but then I have always enjoyed writing ever since I was a schoolgirl. I do occasionally have times when I am stumped on how to put something that is in my head into words on paper but in time I figure it out. Sometimes I just have to put something down so I can move on to the next part of the story. When I get to the editing process I will rework those parts. A few times I've had to go back and change things I'd written because as the story has unfolded what I had written before didn't jive with what actually ended up happening in the story.

Though all this I think about some of the books I love that were written back before the days of computers of even typewriters. Every word had to be written by hand with a pen that was dipped in an inkwell. Then each page needed to be blotted so the ink didn't smudge. Any changes or rewrites would mean that for the final copy whole pages and probably the whole manuscript would need to be recopied. I am glad I live in the computer age.

I also have to admit that dishes sit in the sink longer than they should, and laundry has sat in the dryer overnight and the dust is beginning to take over around my house. Thankfully, my wonderful husband knows that this is just for one month and has not complained. I so appreciate how supportive he is. What I haven't told him is that I am enjoying the writing process enough that I think I should write more novels after this month is over. Well, we will see if I still feel that way when the month is over.

Work:
So far I have only been on the job one day for training. I am scheduled to work for the first time in earnest tomorrow. I think I will like my job once I actually get to do it.

This Weekend:
My son, Will, who I haven't seen since the first week of September, will be in Stockton for a Debate Tournament at UOP. Bill and I are going to go to Stockton on Saturday and probably Sunday too so we can see our son and watch some of his debate rounds. I am looking forward to seeing him and giving that boy a hug.

From my blog at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

National Novel Writing Month

2009-11-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

Today is November 1at and that means that today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo for short. According to to the NaNoWriMo website,

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

For the past several years my daughter has participated and has urged me to do likewise but I always begged off because that was not only when the school year was in high gear but also the month when my son had lots of speech and debate tournaments. To try to write a 50,000 word novel in one month and that month being one of the busiest months of the year for me seemed out of the question. However this year, not only did I have the idea for a story that has been bouncing around in my head for some time, but I also had none of my usual excuses. And so I have decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. I am a registered participant and you can see my profile at http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/532224 If you are also participating let me know and we can be writing buddies.

I will try to update you on how my novel is coming along. Otherwise, I don't know how much I will actually be posting to this blog for the next month but we shall see.

Silent Monks Singing

2009-10-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Enjoy!

If you are reading this on Facebook, here is the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCFCeJTEzNU&feature=player_embedded

From my blog at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Gotta Love "Those Darn Accordions"

2009-10-25T16:17:00.000-07:00

Last night we were invited by our friends Jim and Ruth to go with them to a concert in Winters. They told us it was a group of accordion players so Bill and I didn't have any idea what we were in for. It turned out that what we were in for was a really enjoyable evening listening to talented singer/musicians play music I never could have imagined being played on accordions.

Here is a YouTube of Those Darn Accordions that I just stole from Ruth's blog to give you an idea of what they are like. Enjoy!

If you are reading this on Facebook, here is the link to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ2QoOs-WRo&feature=player_embedded

Originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

My Latest News and other Random Details

2009-10-24T09:04:00.000-07:00

The job search has met with success! By the grace of God I have found a job that looks like it will meet my needs. It is part time, which is what I wanted. The pay is quite good for part time work that doesn't require a lot of experience. I will never have to go into work earlier than 9:15am and I will never have to work later than 7:15pm. I can get Tuesday and Sunday mornings off so I won't have to miss Ladies Bible Study or Church because of work. So many jobs I looked at would have required early mornings, late nights or both. Early mornings don't agree with me and my working late nights wouldn't have agreed with my dear hubby. Most of the jobs I looked at would have forced me to miss either Church or Ladies Bible Study or both and most of the jobs paid far less than this job. Best of all I think this job will be fun at times.

I don't want a job that is super demanding or high stress. I want a job that I can work hard at when I'm there but that I can leave mentally/emotionally behind when I come home. I want to have some emotional energy left for my dear hubby who does have a demanding, high stress job. I also want to have the time to continue working on fixing up my home. Over the last couple of months I had the time but not the money. Now I can, hopefully, set aside a little each month for the things that desperately need to be fixed around this beat-up old house.

So what is this job? I'm glad you asked. I'm going to be working for WDS as a Product Demonstrator at Costco. That's right, I'm going to be one of those wonderful people who give you free stuff with a smile and a little spiel about the product you are sampling. WDS is the company that that provides the product demonstrations at Costco so I will not be working for Costco but at Costco.

As I've already said before, I've had my career. Homeschooling was my career and my calling and I loved it but let's face, the pay for that was lousy. Now I'm going for the bucks to help pay for my children's education and to fix what is crumbling (literally) in our house and I'm going to have some fun doing it.

In other random details: After my interview for WDS on Wednesday I bought one of those Rotisserie Chickens there at Costco since it was almost dinner time. Bill and I had that for dinner that night with sweet potato fries (baked, not fried) and a salad. I shredded up the left-over chicken and the next night used some of it to make some very stuffed Chicken Enchiladas. I served them with Refried Beans and a Salad. Yum! The next night, I used the remaining left-over chicken in a Chicken and Mushroom Risotto Casserole. There were leftovers of both the Enchiladas and the Risotto Casserole that we can have for lunch today.

That's right! The meat from one five dollar Rotisserie Chicken fed Bill and I for three dinners and one lunch. I love left-overs/planned-overs! They save so much money and time. When both kids were home that one Chicken would have been gone the first night. I would have felt lucky if there was enough chicken left over for one small taco for lunch the next day. Also, our PG&E bill was about the lowest we've ever seen. I think it may have something to do with lights actually being turned off when nobody is in the room and things like that. The money we are saving in food and other expenses will also help with the bills for college.

Since Bill often has to work on Saturdays, he has been choosing a weekday to take off work instead of working six days, (sometimes seven) a week like he used to do. Because of this, .Bill and I have discovered the joy of going out to lunch about once a week. In many restaurants you can get wonderful food in portions that are just right instead of being way too much and you can pay a lot less money than you would at dinner time. This has become our weekly date/splurge! It is so nice going on a date in the middle of the day instead of at night when you are tired. Once I start my job, Bill will try to plan his day off for when I am not working too so we can continue having our special time together.

I miss both my kids terribly and, crazy as it sounds, would love to have them back home again. Still, I know they are where God wants them right now and I am enjoying the blessings of it being just Bill and I.

Clouds!

2009-10-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

Negative things in our lives are often called Clouds. When it is really cloudy we often say that the weather is gloomy. When someone is sad or depressed we say they are under a cloud. Clouds are often synonymous with the storms or the struggles and difficulties in our lives.

The other day when my daughter was visiting, she and I happened to go outside the house to go somewhere just as the sun was going down. The sky was full of clouds. The setting sun shining up on the clouds created the most amazingly beautiful display in the sky. My daughter and I just stopped and stared. We were both taken back by the beauty before us.

It was then that God popped this thought into my heart: "It is the sun shining on the clouds that makes this sunset so beautiful. Without the clouds it wouldn't be nearly so spectacular."

As I pondered that thought I realized that when my life is full of clouds, that is when I need to trust that at the right time, that is in God's perfect time, the Son will shine on the clouds in my life. I need to trust that those clouds, those circumstances and situations that have brought me so much heartache and sadness will in due time be made beautiful by the Son.

For me faith is not believing that God will make everything perfect and wonderful in my life all the time. Faith is believing that at the end of the "day," when I look up to Him, I will see the beauty that He has made from all the things that were ugly and scary and difficult. So I will praise Him in the difficult times for the beauty that I know he will make out of the situation. And then I will praise Him again when He shines so bright on the clouds and I see with my eyes the beauty He alone has made.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

For My Kids

2009-10-11T16:25:00.000-07:00

I just heard a song that totally expresses what is in my heart for my wonderful grown children so I thought I would share it with you.

If viewing this on facebook you can view this video here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4NS7gChzvk

Artist: Mark Harris
Album: The Line Between The Two
Title: Find Your Wings

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And if I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

I pray that God will fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

Originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

What Really Matters

2009-10-08T09:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my wonderful hubby and I went to Apple Hill. We had a wonderful time and brought back some apples and other produce. While we were there we saw a kindergarten class on a field trip. The children were walking in line to the tables and each child held an apple in one hand and an apple donut in the other. The teacher carried a jug of apple juice and some cups. They sat at a couple of the tables near us and I enjoyed watching them. As I smiled at their energy and happy chatter, I began to remember all the field trips I went on with my children and our homeschool group and I realized that my eyes were getting moist. My children are all grown up and pursuing the dreams that God has placed in their hearts.

Later, as I wandered around the craft booths, I saw a plaque that had part of this poem on it:

One hundred years from now
It will not matter
What kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
How much money I had in the bank,
Nor what my clothes looked like.
One hundred years from now
It will not matter
What kind of school I attended,
What kind of typewriter I used,
How large or small my church,
But the world may be ...
a little better because...
I was important in the life of a child.
~~ Author Unknown ~~

I remember reading that poem years ago but had forgotten it. As I thought about the words I felt so grateful that I had been able to be a "stay at home" mom and homeschool my children. We did without many things. We drove old beat up cars. Our house is small and getting run down. We wear clothes from Walmart. We have very little put aside for retirement. We pinch pennies because we have to. Yet, those things don't really matter. What matters is that I was able to be important in the life of two amazing children and I am confident that the world is a better place because of it.

I am so grateful for my hubby who worked hard to provide for us and didn't complain that he couldn't afford the gadgets and toys that many of his friends had. He was content to drive old beat up cars and put the needs of his family before his own selfish desires. He understood what was important. I am blessed, not materially, but by the life I have been able to live, the family God has given me and the impact it is making on the world.

3:30 in the Morning

2009-10-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

When the phone rings at 3:30 in the morning it is NEVER good news. We have had enough middle of the night phone calls to know that fact far too well. As my husband fumbled for the phone I braced myself to face whatever we would have to face. Had one of the kids been in an accident? Had my mom taken a fall? Or was it simply that an X-ray machine at the hospital stopped working and they needed my hubby there NOW to get it working for an emergency patient?

Holding my breath, I listened to my hubby's side of the conversation hoping to get a hint of who it was and what the bad news might be. "Sorry, you have the wrong number," I heard my husband say. Then the question in my mind became, how do I go back to sleep with my heart in my throat. My dear hubby had no such difficulty. I heard his snores within minutes.

It doesn't help that my son had just told me the day before that he went off-roading with some of his college friends and that the truck had almost rolled several times. "We almost died three times," he told me with the bravado that only someone who still doesn't fully comprehend their own mortality can have. The minute he said that I knew that for the next month I would have images of trucks rolling over and crushing my precious baby. I flat out told him, "There are just some things it's best not to tell the woman who birthed you." I also told him that "I have you covered in prayer but I'm not entirely sure how much prayer it takes to cover, 'stupid' so please use wisdom in what you do."

There is great comfort in knowing your children are safe under your roof. Now that my nest is empty I'm having to learn a new level of trusting God with my children, a new level of letting go, a new level of daily consecrating my children to Him, especially as my wild boy is getting to do things that he never got to do when he was living at home. I sure hope we don't get anymore middle of the night phone calls for a while.

Originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Just an Observation

2009-09-30T17:37:00.000-07:00

For the last twenty plus years most people knew me as Bill's wife and Jennifer and Will's (or Jenny and Billy's) mom. I have always been fine with that. It stirred no identity crisis in me. I know who I am. Still, I find it startling to realize that I now know some people that have never met or even seen my kids. These are mostly people who have started coming to our church in the last couple of months. It has occurred to me that in time many of the people in my life will only know what I tell them about my kids. They will not know me as Jenny and Billy's mom at all.

For so long almost everything I did was about my kids or involved my kids in some way. Now it seems strange that so little of the stuff I do is about my kids. Of course, I still think about my kids almost as much as I did before only now I'm doing less for and with them and praying for them a lot more. My life is still very much about my kids just in a different way.

Wishful Thinking!

2009-09-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

I just changed the background for this blog from a summer theme to an autumn theme. I know it is going to be in the high nineties and maybe even reach a hundred degrees today but technically it is autumn now and I am wishing for the cooler weather. Even if it is one hundred degrees outside, I hope you enjoy jumping in the fall leaves with me and imagining a gentle breeze blowing. I can just taste the hot apple cider.

I Could Get Used to This!

2009-09-23T08:48:00.000-07:00

In the last two and a half weeks I have not gone further than twenty miles from home. I have only felt rushed or hurried a couple of times. I have been able to cook good tasty, healthy meals for my hubby and I have actually enjoyed the process because I'm not having to hurry and no one says, "yuck!" about whatever I make. I clean my house and it actually stays clean for close to a week! I've only had one item not be where I thought I put it when I needed it. I have not come home once to hear loud heavy metal music pounding through the walls before I even open the door. Instead I have been able to fill my home with beautiful praise and worship music. I have lots to do because for years I was forced to neglect many things around the house but I'm not having to hurry about getting them done. I am able to take my time going through things and organizing what I don't toss. For the last couple of weeks my days have been full but not hurried. Right now my life is peaceful and enjoyable.

The only stress factor in my life is the fact that my dear hubby is overworked and under a lot of stress at work. If he could be home more to enjoy this peacefulness with me it would be perfect. While I miss my children greatly, I hear from them reasonably often and I know that, although each is facing various challenges, both are doing well, are reasonably happy and both love God and are committed to serving Him. What more could a mother of adult children want?

I've had various people tell me what to expect in the empty nest stage. Some told me they cried for months. I did cry a lot at first but that was a hard time emotionally for many reasons such as the death of my father-in-law, so how much of the crying was for my kids and how much was for everything else or just from complete exhaustion, I don't know. I also spent a lot of time looking at pictures of my children from the time they were babies until now. Sometimes the pictures brought laughter and sometimes they brought tears but I know it was part of the process I needed to go through and I let myself completely wallow in the pictures and the memories for about a week. I now feel like I am done with that part of the process and have moved on.

I know a woman who says that for months she kept setting too many places at the table. I only did that once, two years ago after Jennifer left, but I haven't done that at all since Will left. Many have told me that they had a hard time cutting the amount of food they cooked. I've halved most of my recipes or else fix the whole thing and freeze half. Either way, it has worked out perfectly. Most meals feed my hubby and I, often leaving enough for lunch the next day which is perfect. Funny, before my son left I would fix the whole recipe and rarely have enough leftovers for lunch. Now, I fix half and it feeds two people with left overs. The math just doesn't seem right there. I've also experimented some since my dear food critics are no longer around and haven't had one flop yet. I discovered I'm a much better cook when I'm not rushing to fix a meal while being distracted by a hundred other things that need to get done. I've discovered that I even have some cooking intuition and can come up with things that taste good without following a recipe. I really can't get over the fact that I am actually enjoying cooking a little bit when for so long I have passionately disliked cooking and tried to resign from that part of my job at least once a week.

While I do miss my dear children I am finding the empty nest to be a very enjoyable place so far. As much as I'm enjoying myself, I know that soon I will need to get a part time job. I am grateful for this time of rest and peace after so many months, no years, of almost constant hurry and busyness. It would be nice if I could go on doing this forever but I know that at least for a season I will need to bring in a little bit of income to help with the college expenses. I'm not dreading it but I'm not looking forward to it either. I could so easily be a bit of a hermit and just putter around my house and be perfectly happy. I could get used to this but I will take the next step in a week or two.

1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.
11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end. 12 I know that nothing is better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, 13 and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor--it is the gift of God.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 8, 11 - 13

Originally posted at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

A Discussion

2009-09-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Over the last few days I have been pondering the roles of emotion, logic and tradition in the life of the church. Someone I know brought up these issues and got me thinking about them. Many people try to find a balance between emotion and logic and between traditional and non-traditional methods. However, I have come to the conclusion that pitting these ideas against each other or trying to find the right balance between them is not the best approach. God's Word is our standard. Everything must be measured against God's Word and not against each other.

If you look into God's word you will see tremendous emotion. Just read the Psalms. Every emotion imaginable is clearly shown. We see that in the life of David the worship of God was emotional, demonstrative, often loud and from the heart. God describes David as "a man after My own heart, who will do all My will" (Acts 13:22) so emotion in the worship of God is not wrong. However, we all know that our emotions can lead us down wrong paths if we are not being led by God's Word and God's Spirit.

We also see logic in God's Word. The Apostle Paul is an excellent example of logic both good and bad. Logic is only as good as the premise you start with. Paul, when he was still Saul, started with the premise that Jesus was not the Messiah and it led him to seek to destroy the church. Later, when God showed him that his initial premise was totally wrong, Paul became one of the leading teachers in the early church. If you read his epistles you see him logically lay out the theological foundations of the early church. Logic can be either good or bad depending on what it is based on. Is it based on God's Word or on human thinking and reasoning only? Does it lead one to glorify God?

Tradition has become a bad word in some Christian circles. However, we see that God himself established many traditions for his people in the Old Testament. Each tradition was designed to point the people to God and to glorify God. However, God wasn't afraid to do away with a tradition if it was no longer serving its purpose. For example, when people were being killed by poisonous serpents God instructed Moses to make a bronze serpent and place it on a pole. When those who had been bitten looked at the bronze serpent they were healed. (Numbers 21:4-9) The serpent was kept to remind the people of God's healing miracle. Years later when people started worshipping the snake instead of God, it was destroyed. (2 Kings 18:4) The tradition no longer served it's purpose. Traditions are good when they point us to God and glorify Him, when they distract or become more important than God Himself in our lives they become idols that need to be done away with. Our worship is to be for God alone.

In all these things, God's Word is the standard to determine whether the emotional display, the logical approach, the tradition or the non-traditional way of doing things is right or good. In the gospel of Luke, there is a clear example of all these things being played out in one story in scripture.

10 Now He was teaching in one of the synagogues on the Sabbath. 11 And behold, there was a woman who had a spirit of infirmity eighteen years, and was bent over and could in no way raise herself up. 12 But when Jesus saw her, He called her to Him and said to her, "Woman, you are loosed from your infirmity." 13 And He laid His hands on her, and immediately she was made straight, and glorified God. 14 But the ruler of the synagogue answered with indignation, because Jesus had healed on the Sabbath; and he said to the crowd, "There are six days on which men ought to work; therefore come and be healed on them, and not on the Sabbath day." 15 The Lord then answered him and said, "Hypocrite! Does not each one of you on the Sabbath loose his ox or donkey from the stall, and lead it away to water it? 16 So ought not this woman, being a daughter of Abraham, whom Satan has bound--think of it--for eighteen years, be loosed from this bond on the Sabbath?" 17 And when He said these things, all His adversaries were put to shame; and all the multitude rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by Him. Luke 13:10 - 17

First, let's consider the fact that this took place in a synagogue. You will not find the word synagogue in the Old Testament. Synagogues were developed by the Jewish people probably during the Babylonian exile when they had no temple to worship at. When God brought the people back from exile they continued the synagogue system they had developed. Every village and town in Israel had a synagogue. In that sense, synagogues were a man made tradition. Jesus was quick to criticize the Jewish leaders when their man made traditions superseded God's Word or took the focus off of God yet Jesus had no problem with the fact that God had not instituted the synagogue system in His Word. Jesus taught at the synagogues. The synagogues were where the people heard God's Word and learned about and worshipped God. Later the apostle Paul would start teaching in any city he went to at the synagogue and then later he would go to the gentiles in the area. So we see that a tradition of man can be either good or bad depending on whether or not it is in agreement with God's Word, fulfills God's purposes and causes God to be glorified, even if that tradition is not specifically described in God's Word.

In this passage we see Jesus, having compassion on a woman and healing her. She immediately glorifies God for the healing. Next we see the ruler of the synagogue use false logic, based on a wrong premise, to criticize Jesus' actions. Jesus uses His perfect logic and the emotion of compassion to completely and totally defeat the criticism. As a result "all the multitude rejoiced for all the glorious things that were done by Him." So we see here that logic can be either good or bad depending on whether it is in agreement with God's Word, fulfills God's purposes and causes God to be glorified or not. We also see that Jesus uses both emotion and logic at the same time for God's glory.

God created us as emotional beings. He also gave us minds and expects us to use them. God gave His people traditions because good traditions point people to God. However, traditions should never become an idol too us. In every case, the standard is God's Word. Is it in alignment with God's Word, does it fulfill God's purposes and is God glorified because of it?

So how does this play out in the life of the modern church. First, let's not be so quick to criticize. Michal criticized David for his emotional and demonstrative worship and God judged her for it. (2 Samuel 6: 12-16, 20-23) God is big enough to operate outside the box we try to keep Him in. God can use emotion and logic and traditional methods and non-traditional methods and everything in between.

While there is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ, there are many ways to worship and glorify Him. God's Word is full of examples of different ways to worship God. God can use churches that are loud, emotional, demonstrative and untraditional and He can use churches that are quiet, reverent, carefully ordered, and traditional. The question to ask is not, "Which is better?" The question to ask is, "Does it line up with God's Word and is God glorified?" Then the next question may be, "Which congregation does God want me to plug into and be a part of?" The answer may or may not be the style you are most comfortable with. At one time I was very uncomfortable with the style of the kind church I now attend. God showed me through His Word that these things were not wrong, just different from what I was raised with. Now, I would have a very hard time going back to the style I was raised with NOT because I think the style I was raised with was wrong but because this is where God has placed me and it is here that my understanding and knowledge of God has grown by leaps and bounds. God has used this particular style in my life for His purposes and I give Him the glory not the style.

Doctrine is so very important to me. There are some issues that for me are non-negotiable. I believe so strongly that certain issues are what God's Word teaches that I could not become a part of a congregation that taught differently although I could certainly worship with those who believe differently on occasion. For me the two most important issues are how God's Word, the Bible, is viewed and baptism. You might have other issues that you believe so strongly about that they are non-negotiable for you. My advice to someone who is looking for a church home is to start by prayerfully determining what are non-negotiable issues to them and then see where God leads while asking the question, "Does it line up with God's Word and is God glorified?"

Random Thoughts

2009-09-11T11:37:00.001-07:00

I've been thinking about what God has been showing me during these last difficult weeks. There were times when I just couldn't pray. Well, that's not exactly true. I could pray for other people who were not directly involved in what I was dealing with. If someone asked for prayer I could stop what I was doing and pray for them from my heart in complete faith. However, I couldn't find the words to pray about what I was going through. Usually, when I can't find the words to pray I pray in tongues. (For my wonderful non-charismatic or non-pentecostal brethren, PLEASE don't get hung up on what I just said, just read on. Tongues isn't the main point of what I am writing.) However, there were times when I couldn't even pray in tongues. Sometimes I wanted to pray but just couldn't find the emotional energy to start and other times I didn't even want to try. I was just too numb. That is the only way to describe how I was feeling...numb.

A few years ago I would have added guilt about what I was feeling or not feeling on top of everything else. However, I have learned to tell the difference between the voice of the accuser of the brethren and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. My Savior didn't condemn me. He understood exactly where my heart was. My heart was still 100% percent His and in spite of how I felt, I knew that God was right by my side.

I found that while I could not pray and at times I couldn't even focus on reading my Bible, I could still worship. I found comfort and solace in putting on worship music and lifting my hands and singing to God from my heart. In those time I felt God's presence. I felt His arms around me. I even sensed that as I worshiped all that was in my heart that couldn't be put into words was heard by Him. I experienced peace, love and even joy. For those precious moments, I no longer felt numb. I was lifted out of my circumstances and into the arms of my wonderful Lord and Savior.

Title: Praise You In This Storm
Artist: Casting Crowns
I was sure by now
God you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say “Amen”, and it’s still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as You mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I’ll praise You in this storm
And I will life my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I’ve cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can’t find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
“I’m with you”
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Just Puttering For Now

2009-09-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

I think I could get used to having the whole day to myself. After so much busyness for so long, I am really enjoying taking my time and just puttering around the house doing various things. I haven't had to rush or hurry at all these last few days and having that pressure gone is so freeing. I could really get used to having all day to do whatever needs to be done around the house. However, I know this state of affairs won't last. I'm giving myself a couple of weeks to rest, recover and renovate (fix up our house a bit) and then I will begin looking for a job.

I'm not looking for a career at this point. I had my career, it was raising and homeschooling my precious children. The pay was lousy, the hours long, the work was at times challenging and at other times tedious, those I was serving were often ungrateful and even critical. It was the best job I ever had!

I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. I have no regrets about the choice to homeschool and spend the last twenty-two years getting by on one income in a two income world and even paying to educate our children at home when a "free" education was available just down the road at the local public school.

We made a conscious choice to invest in our children instead of building an expensive lifestyle filled with stuff for ourselves. Matthew 6:21 says, "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." That tells me that whatever you put your money into is what is most important to you. When I look at the results of our investment, my wonderful now grown children who love God are making mostly good choices and are doing well in college, I know it was well worth every penny spent on homeschooling, every dollar spent on private Christian college and all the thousands of dollars of income I wasn't bringing in over the years.

Now that I have "retired" I just want something to help with the bills a bit (two kids in college isn't cheap) and maybe have a bit left over to begin really fixing up the things about the house that need fixing. My focus will still be God and family because those are my treasures.

This post was originally published at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

The Last Two and a Half Weeks or "the Blur"

2009-09-09T11:27:00.001-07:00

I haven't written much lately, not because there was nothing to share but because there was too much going on, too much for me to process, too much for me to even begin to tell about. Somewhere along the line I've learned that the way to survive times like this is to focus on the next thing you need to do, whatever it is and when you have made it through that, do the next thing and then the next thing and so on. To look at the big picture only overwhelms and paralyzes a person but if you just do the next thing, whatever it is, you will make it through. I've found that God gives me the grace to deal with what is right in front of me but he doesn't give me the grace to deal with tomorrow until tomorrow is today.

I will try to briefly summarize the last two and a half weeks. My dear hubby and I drove to Costa Mesa and dropped our youngest son off at college (8/16/09). While I have great confidence that this is where he is supposed to be it was truly gut-wrenching to hug him one last time and watch him walk into the dorm and know he wasn't coming home with us. Bill and I went to our car and spent about twenty minutes just weeping there in the car. Then we went to our motel to clean up then we went to Downtown Disney. We didn't spend a long time there because we were just so exhausted.

Just a couple of days later, right after arriving home again, we learned that my hubby's dad was not going to live much longer. He has been in poor health for a long time with Parkinson's disease and congestive heart failure so in some ways this news wasn't a big surprise but it was still hard to hear. We traveled almost every day to the Bay Area to spend hours and hours by his bedside as well as helping my mother-in-law with various arrangements.

After visiting with my father-in-law two Saturday's ago (8/22/09) we drove to Santa Cruz to bring our daughter stuff that she had left at home for her new apartment. Our daughter had spent most of the summer looking for a place and called while we were driving home from dropping our son off at college to tell us that she had gotten a place. She didn't want to spend her last semester in the dorms. She wanted to escape the drama and she wanted to have a place to live there so that after she graduated she could stay in the area and wouldn't have to live at home again. Mary, one of her best friends from college will be sharing the apartment. I love Mary like a daughter and couldn't think of a better roommate for my daughter. It is a cute little studio apartment attached to a house in the hill right behind her school. She looks out her window and sees trees. It is quiet and charming. I am so happy for her. I know that it would be hard for both of us if she had to live at home again after tasting independence. Still there is a sadness in knowing that she isn't going to be coming home again except for an occasional visit.

The following Wednesday (8/26/09) we spent a good part of the day with my hubby's dad and then met together with most of the family there to discuss arrangements. As we were driving home that night the call came that he had passed away. I took the call because my hubby was driving, then I had to break the news to him. Even when you expect it, it is still a shock. We got off the freeway and parked the car in a shopping center parking lot where we shed some tears and then began to make necessary phone calls. I think the most difficult thing I have ever had to do is tell my children over the phone that their grandpa had died. I so wanted to reach through the phone and hold them and comfort them but their were just too many miles between us.

The next day (8/27/09) we drove back down to the Bay Area to help Bill's mom finalize the funeral arrangements. What an exhausting task!

The following Saturday (9/29/09) we went to Santa Cruz to take our daughter more of her stuff. We could have put that off but I really felt the need to see her and hug her.

One week ago today (9/2/09) was my father-in-law's funeral. Our son flew to the San Francisco airport from college and our daughter drove up from Santa Cruz. It was so good to see them but sad that it was under such sad circumstances. Then we had the difficult task of saying goodbye to our son all over again. I managed to save my tears until he after he walked into the airport.

Over the last couple of weeks, people who didn't know what was going on with Bill's dad have asked us how we were dealing with the empty nest and we would honestly answer that we haven't had enough time to figure that out yet. Now I can tell you what I have discovered so far: The house is quieter. I haven't once come home to hear heavy metal music blasting. The house stays clean longer. I haven't tripped over my son's size 13 shoes once since he has been gone. Cooking for two is easier than cooking for four and no one complains that they don't like what I have cooked. Because of that I find I am enjoying cooking more than I used to. I only have to keep track of two people's schedules. I'm not spending a lot of my time driving my son from one place to another. The logistics of life are easier and I miss my kids terribly. We hear from both kids often and I know they are both doing well and are reasonably happy and that helps but I'm a huggy kind of mom and wish I could wrap my arms around them like I used to.

I have been so tired but haven't been sleeping that well. This morning I slept in until 9am and it was glorious. When I got up I fixed some breakfast then went to check emails. I found an email from my hubby with a link. Here is what he sent me:

Isn't he sweet? I am blessed with a wonderful hubby!

This post was originally posted on http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/. If you are reading this on Facebook the video probably didn't come through but you can see it on my blog.

Death is Swallowed Up in Victory

2009-08-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

1 For we know that if our earthly house, this tent, is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. ... 8 We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord. 2 Corinthians 5:1, 8

51 Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed-- 52 in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. 53 For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. 54 So when this corruptible has put on incorruption, and this mortal has put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written: "Death is swallowed up in victory." 55 "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" 56 The sting of death is sin, and the strength of sin is the law. 57 But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:51-56

On Wednesday, August 26 at 9:15 in the evening my father-in-law, who I call Dad, went to be with the Lord. Services will be held next Wednesday.

The last couple of weeks have been exhausting but we take great comfort in knowing that the wonderful man who raised my dear husband is in a much better place and is no longer suffering. In the last week my hubby and I have driven to Daly City and back five times. We spent as much time as we could with him during his last week. Yesterday we went with my hubby's mom to finalize the funeral arrangements. We are tired and are taking today to rest. Tomorrow we will be driving to Santa Cruz to bring our daughter more of her stuff for her new apartment. It will be so good to see her. It was so hard having to break such difficult news to my children over the phone instead of in person. I so wanted to reach through the phone and hug my kids and comfort them.

We have secured a motel room in Daly City for the day before and after the funeral. Our son will be flying in the day before the funeral and our daughter will drive to Daly City either the day before or the day of the funeral. We will all be able to be together and to be with the rest of the family.

Many people have let us know that they have been praying for us during this time and although I haven't been able to acknowledge each one I want you to know that I greatly appreciate each prayer for us and have felt those prayers. God has been with us through each and every difficult moment. Thank you so much for your prayers.

When It Rains It Pours

2009-08-25T10:19:00.000-07:00

I have come to learn that in life situations that require a lot of emotional energy rarely come to you one at a time. They usually come bundled - good, bad and bittersweet - all together or more likely one right after the other so that you don't have time to deal with one before the next hits. This is where my life is at right now. Most of you know that we took our youngest child to college just last week. Many of you know that our daughter has gotten her first apartment. No more dorm living for her. We took a bunch of her stuff to her and helped her with moving in over the weekend. Finally, what only a handful of you know is that my father-in-law has been placed on hospice care. We do not know how long he has left but it isn't very long. This occured just a couple days after dropping our son off at college and a couple days before helping our daughter move into her apartment. Since Friday, we have made two trips to the Bay Area to see him and to help my mother-in-law with various arrangements and are planning to go again today as soon as my dear hubby can get off work. My hubby and I feel exhausted and overwhelmed. However, I have a Rock. I know my Source of strength. I trust in Him!

1 Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer. 2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You, When my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. 3 For You have been a shelter for me, A strong tower from the enemy. 4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever; I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
5 For You, O God, have heard my vows; You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.
Psalm 61: 1-5

1 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. 2 Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; 3 Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling. Selah 4 There is a river whose streams shall make glad the city of God, The holy place of the tabernacle of the Most High. 5 God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved; God shall help her, just at the break of dawn.
6 The nations raged, the kingdoms were moved; He uttered His voice, the earth melted. 7 The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah 8 Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has made desolations in the earth. 9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariot in the fire. 10 Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! 11 The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah
Psalm 46

Resting on God's Word!

2009-08-20T07:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my hubby left his Bible laying open on the sofa. When I came into the room this is what I saw:

I think we have a really blessed cat!

Psalm 1
1 Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord, And in His law he meditates day and night. 3 He shall be like a tree Planted by the rivers of water, That brings forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also shall not wither; And whatever he does shall prosper.
4 The ungodly are not so, But are like the chaff which the wind drives away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, Nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, But the way of the ungodly shall perish.

Letting Go Is Hard

2009-08-15T15:07:00.000-07:00

The song at the bottom of this post pretty much says it all. The verse that especially gets me is this:

Tell me why
Why does following your dreams
Take you far away from me
And I knew that it would

I have always known that God had big plans for this boy. I've always known that someday he would venture far from home.

Everything went really smoothly. We got to Costa Mesa in good time. We had some time to explore the town in the evening. The next day we got him checked into the dorm. We talked with his debate coach a little bit. I really like his debate coach and feel I can trust her to be loving but tough when needed. We also met another new member of the debate team and his mom. We had to make a Kmart run because we realized we had forgotten a few minor things like light bulbs. We got back to the dorm just a few minutes before his first official meeting with the team was supposed to start. Suddenly, after all the busyness and running around doing stuff the moment for goodbye had come. I fought the tears as I gave him a hug, then his dad hugged him. Our son turned and walked toward his dorm and started talking with a guy that was walking in at the same time. Now the tears came. Bill and I walked to the car and sat in the car for a while and wept. We went to our hotel and cleaned up then went to Downtown Disney for a while. That's right, Disneyland is only about 15 miles from the campus.

We jokingly said, "You just left your youngest child at college...what are you going to do now?"

"We're going to Disneyland!"

We had a nice dinner at Downtown Disney and walked around a bit. Then we went back to our hotel and went to bed. We were both really tired, physically and emotionally.

We drove home yesterday and in the evening our son gave us a call. It was so good to hear his voice. He sounded happy and told us about all the stuff he and his debate team had already done. Letting go is hard but there is great comfort in knowing your child is happy and doing well.

How to say Goodbye - Michael W Smith

Title: How to Say Goodbye
Artist: Michael W. Smith
Album: Stand

Tell me when the time we had slipped away
Tomorrow turned to yesterday
And I don't know how
Tell me what can stop this river of tears
It's been building up for years
For this moment now

Here I stand
Arms open wide
I've held ya close
Kept ya safe
Till you could fly

Tell me where the road ahead is gonna bend
And how to harness up the wind
And how to say goodbye

Tell me why
Why does following your dreams
Take you far away from me
And I knew that it would

Tell me how to fill the space you left behind
And how to laugh instead of cry
And how to say goodbye

Here I stand
Arms open wide
I've held ya close
Kept ya safe
Till you could fly

Tell me where the road ahead is gonna bend
And how to harness up the wind
And how to say goodbye.

Three days!

2009-08-13T15:26:00.000-07:00

In just three days we will load all my son's stuff into the car and begin the long drive to take him to college. We're busy getting ready. Three days! Enough said!

Single Digits

2009-08-07T08:58:00.000-07:00

It dawned on me this morning that the countdown to when my son leaves for college has gone from double digits to single digits. In nine days we will pack up everything he is bringing with him to college into our car and head to southern CA. A day later we will leave him there and turn around and drive home. He will be there for several days of debate camp. There will also be musicians and atheletes having their camps. After that will be Welcome Week activities for all the new students. Then on August 26 classes will finally start.

Many parents worry about who their child's roommate will be and pray that person will be a positive influence on their child or at least not be a negative influence. When we learned the name of our son's future roommate we just laughed. His name is Sam and my son and he have known each other for years and we have known his family. They have debated against each other for years and have had a bit of a friendly rivalry going. They didn't request each other as roommates. Sam isn't going to be doing debate in college so the pairing wasn't because of debate. Sam is from the Modesto area so they weren't paired because of coming from the same area. Out of all the hundreds of incoming freshmen males, what are the odds that they would pair my son with the one person he already knew and whose family we know. God is so good!

This weekend my daughter is coming home for a short visit. She gets off work at 2pm today and will be driving here from Santa Cruz ...in Friday afternoon/evening traffic. Without traffic the trip takes about two and a half hours. Please pray for her safety. She has made that drive several times with me next to her but this will be the first time she will do it solo. It will be so good to see her and spend some time with her.

On Sunday, we are having a baptism service at church and my son will be getting baptised again. He was baptised when he was a child and understood what he was doing at the time but has since grown and has a new fresh walk with God and wants to rededicate himself in baptism before heading off to college. Several other wonderful people will be baptised as well, some for the first time some as rededications.

Monday morning our daughter needs to leave in time to be at work in Santa Cruz at 2pm. She will then have only two more weeks of working full time at the conference center before school starts for her. However, she has been hired to work weekends at the conference center this fall. That means she will have some money coming in which is a blessing but it also means she probably won't be able to come home on the weekends much if at all.

Next Tuesday, my son will travel to Fresno....that's right Fresno. He has been asked by a fairly new debate club to come and teach them basic debate. He met many of the kids in this club at tournaments this year and they really like and respect him. Months ago some of the kids asked him if could come and help them out. The coach is just a parent doing her best and doesn't know a lot about debate. Our son will be teaching them as much as he can in an all day seminar and come home on Wednesday. After that we will only have a few days to get everything ready to go to college.

I have great confidence that my son will do well both in college and beyond He has proven in the last few months that he can be a real go-getter and make thing happen. For example, on Wednesday evening a concert took place at our church that was my son's vision and that, with God's help and direction, he made happen. A Curbside Ending performed at our church's normal youth group night and also led a worship set. My son knew one of the members of A Curbside Ending from when he was part of our local homeschool group years ago. My son talked to our youth leader and got all the arrangements made and worked out all the details and even did most of the promotion. Over 100 people came to the concert. This was a great blessing to A Curbside Ending, which consists of two very talented Christian young men who just need some exposure and now has a whole new group of fans, and it was a blessing to our youth group and to all the people who came to the concert. When my son has a vision for something then with God's help he can make it happen. He has turned into a real go-getter.

So what am I feeling about my son's leaving for college? A lot of bittersweet feelings but mostly pride in the man that my son has become. He has matured so much in just the last few months. I have confidence that he will do well in college and on his debate team. I have confidence that with God's help he will make mostly good choices. I am confident that God will finish the work He has begun in my son. It is now time for me to let go and trust God for the result. From the time I knew that he existed, from the moment that I knew he was growing in my womb, I have prayed that he would grow up to be a godly man, one who loves and serves God with his whole heart and who serves his fellow man. I am seeing my prayers answered. I am happy....but I also have a lump in my throat.

"being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Philippians 1:6

"Now may the God of peace who brought up our Lord Jesus from the dead, that great Shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant, make you complete in every good work to do His will, working in you what is well pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." Hebrews 13:20-21

Flashback

2009-08-05T09:45:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was driving to the store with my son to get some of the stuff he will need for college. There he was sitting next to me all six feet, two inches of him. Or is he even taller now? He was talking about his plans and looking and sounding so grown up. At a red light I took a moment to look at him and for a brief second I saw an adorable little toddler sitting there. He was gone in an instant replaced again by this giant of a man sitting next to me. I swallowed a lump in my throat and fought back tears. Thankfully I was wearing sunglasses or the tears would have been obvious. I didn't want to put a damper on my son's excitement. He has a right to be excited and I am excited for him. He is a man and is ready to step out into the world and become all that God wants him to be. I love the wonderful man he has become. Still, I sometimes miss the sweet energetic little boy that he once was. I know my life will be good after he is gone and I am looking forward to finding out what God has for me next. I'm not looking at the future with dread. Still, being a mom has been so much fun and my children were such treasures, I think it is only natural to have some bittersweet moments.

He leaves eleven days from today!

Smile

2009-07-31T10:07:00.000-07:00

I've seen this video numerous times on various people's blogs or Facebook pages. Every time I see it, I get a little misty eyed and I smile. It is a little long but well worth watching. It is also a good reminder of the power of words. After watching this I hope you will go out and encourage someone with your words today.

A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook. Proverbs 18:4

Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29

The godly speak words that are helpful, but the wicked speak only what is corrupt. Proverbs 10:32

If you are reading this on Facebook the video probably didn't transfer right. You will just have to come on over to my blog at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/ to see the video.

Breathing

2009-07-30T11:34:00.000-07:00

Last night was our last class for this session of Foundational Truths of the Christian Faith. I felt tired yesterday and by evening I was really wishing I could just stay home. Then my hubby got called back into work because an important piece of medical equipment wasn't working. I would have to teach the entire lesson by myself. I had studied my parts but had only skimmed over his parts. Now I really wanted to stay home. I wasn't prepared. I knew I desperately needed God to help me teach. God is faithful! Throughout the lesson I sensed Him helping me and directing me in what to say. Bill showed up just as I was about to wrap up the lesson. He was able to share a few things for the conclusion. Then, we spent some time talking with one of our students who is going through some struggles after everyone else left. We were able to spend some time encouraging and praying with her. I believe God ministered to her greatly. Last night, I felt so weak and unequipped but God was so faithful. I felt so weak but God was so strong.

If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself. 2 Timothy 2:13

And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness."… 2 Corinthians 12:9

This morning my son left for Spirit West Coast with our church youth group. My house is tidy enough that if someone dropped by unexpectedly I wouldn't be horrified. There is nothing I absolutely have to do today except fix dinner. Sure there are lots of things I should do and probably will do but there are no, "I gotta do this today somehow!" type of things. I am going to enjoy this because I know that this is just a temporary lull before the storm. I see the clouds on the horizon.

On Sunday we will be traveling to the Bay Area to celebrate Bill's dad's 80th birthday. We are hoping to be able to get both our kids there as well. We will be driving on Sunday to Monterey to pick up our son at Spirit West Coast then, hopefully, (haven't been able to confirm this with Jen yet) we will pick our daughter up in Santa Cruz and take them both to Pacifica where he is in a convalescent hospital. With all of his health issues we feel that it is important that both kids have this chance to see their grandpa if at all possible. My father-in-law's state of health is one of the storm clouds I see coming towards us. We know that difficult days are ahead.

All that needs to be done before my son leaves for college in a little over two weeks is another looming storm cloud. Once he returns from Spirit West Coast, I suspect that getting everything ready will become the focus of a lot of my time. So far, it has been much easier getting my son's stuff ready for college than it was when our daughter first went. We've already sent one kid off to college so we have a better idea of what is needed. Also, and I know this is a generalization but it is true in this case, boys don't need as much stuff. Best of all the process of getting the stuff ready hasn't thrown my home into chaos. Because my daughter is living away from home this summer I have the luxury of a spare room. I am putting all my son's stuff for college in my daughter's room. When my daughter went away to college I had no place to put the stuff we were getting ready except in the living room. I like having a spare room available! Jenn, don't misunderstand, I miss you and love having you around...but there are advantages to having your room empty right now.

I know the storm clouds are coming but today I am going to enjoy this chance to catch my breath. I know this moment of rest is a gift from God. God is good!

And He (Jesus) said to them, "Come aside by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while." For there were many coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat. So they departed to a deserted place .... Mark 6:30-32

He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul…. Psalms 23:2-3a

Coming Up For Air

2009-07-29T10:42:00.000-07:00

The last few days have been very full but also very good days. I am excited because I actually see some blanks on my calendar for a few days starting tomorrow and am looking forward to being able to get back to work on my house again. I suppose I should catch you up on what has been going on.

Sunday was a wonderful service at Church. During the sermon time, Bill and I took a group of people out and taught a baptism class. It is always such a joy to teach new believers or those who are recommitting their lives to the Lord. I think we had five students in our class. One of the students is a dear woman who we have been teaching in our foundations class over the last three months. She has become very precious to me. Another of our students is our son, Will. He was baptized when he was a child and at the time he understood well what he was doing but now he barely remembers and he has grown in his walk with the Lord so much since then that he wanted to get baptized again before leaving for college. The baptism will be held on Sunday, August 9th. Baptisms are just so powerfully moving. I always love it when we have a baptism at church.

Monday we had a guest for dinner. Our dear niece, Sarah, who lives in the Bay Area has grown very fond of a young man who lives in the Sacramento area. He travels to the Bay Area almost every weekend to see her. They met years at an Awana camp. They reconnected last year and have been seeing each other ever since. However, we had never had a chance to meet him. My hubby and he began chatting on Facebook and my hubby invited him to come to dinner. Monday evening we finally got to meet this young man. I have to say I really like him. Sarah, if you are reading this, I approve.

Tuesday I went to Ladies Bible Study in the morning. Then I spent the afternoon getting ready to speak at our Church's Ladies Group that night.

Years ago I remember telling someone that I taught children, and loved doing that, but that I could never teach adults. God must have just laughed because soon after that my hubby started teaching a new believer's type of class and wasn't happy with the materials available. He asked me to help him work up our own lessons and the next thing I knew I was helping him to teach it. We spent years teaching Foundational Truths of the Christian Faith to small classes of anywhere from 2 to 8 people. Then as the librarian for our homeschool group I was asked to give a brief library moment at our monthly meeting. All I had to do was talk about a book or two. I gained confidence talking briefly in front of this group of ladies. God was working in my heart. Finally a number of months ago at Church Ladies Group, we were given the opportunity to sign up on a sheet to help in various ways and one of the categories was to teach/speak at the Ladies Group every so often. I sensed the Holy Spirit telling me that I should put my name down there. I hesitated because that was really out of my comfort zone but I knew that was what he wanted me to do. I continued to glance over the papers hoping that a different category would jump out at me as a more comfortable choice to help serve the Ladies Group. I was startled when suddenly, Jan, our Pastor's wife, who was sitting near me said to me, "You really should sign up to teach." I couldn't fight it any more. I wrote my name.

Time passed. I was asked if I could speak at the July meeting. Everything in me wanted to say "no" but the reality was, at the time, my calendar for July was very clear. I didn't have any legitimate excuses. I knew what God wanted me to do and I agreed. More time passed and I watched my calendar for July get quite full. Then last month I was given the topic I was to speak on: Sheep and Psalm 23.

I knew next to nothing about sheep and because I had heard Psalm 23 since I was a small child and even memorized it as a child, I really didn't know it at all. Familiarity had kept me from ever digging into it and studying it in depth. Why couldn't it be a topic I knew well, like something Bill and I teach in our foundations class or something? For about a week after getting the topic, my life was so busy I didn't even look at it, then I finally began to study and WOW! I was so blessed by what I was learning I became excited about teaching it.

So Tuesday afternoon I sat in front of my computer reading over and over what I had written. I liked what I had but I knew it was still too long. (Those of you who read this blog know I am a wordy writer.) I didn't want to put everyone to sleep my first time teaching at Ladies Group. I spent the afternoon paring down. Finally I had my final version and I my printer started acting up. Oh no! How could I give this talk without my notes? Finally I got it working but it took a while and that's when I started to get a little nervous. Until then I had been in a blessed state of denial about how hard it was going to be for me to get up in front of a room full of ladies and talk for 10 to 15 minutes.

The meeting was wonderful and I almost forgot my nervousness for a while until I got up in front of the room. "Can't I just leave now, God? Why do you want me to do this?" I began talking. I found certain faces in the audience that were encouraging to look at. They were nodding and laughing when appropriate. Other faces were blank. I began to avoid looking at them. I finished and sat down. Elaine then led a disscusion about what I had shared and I was blessed by the disscusion. Even some of the people that had blank faces while I spoke remembered some of the things I said and had insiteful comments that showed they really were listening after all.

I'm sure I sounded nervous because I was nervous. What matters to me is if lives were impacted. I didn't want to give a talk that sounded good but didn't make one difference in people's lives. I do think that what I shared impacted some people because of what was said in the discussion time. Also I was surprised and blessed by two different people asking if it would be possible for them to get a copy of my notes. They wanted to be able to re-read some of what I said.

I survived. I know God was with me helping me through. In fact, God being with us in difficult times is one of the things I talked about last night. Will I do it again? Probably, but please give me a while for my nerves to settle again. It was definitely out of my comfort zone and while gave gave me a peace/denial for most of the last month, now that it is over I am feeling rather jittery.

Tonight, Bill and I teach the last class for this session of the Foundational Truths of the Christian Faith. It has been three months and while I love the class, I so am ready for a break.

Tomorrow, our son leaves for Spirit West Coast, a Christian Music Festival in Monteray, CA. About 50 people are going with our church youth group. He will be gone until Sunday. How much work can I get done around here between Thursday and Sunday? I'm looking forward to getting a lot of declutering done.

Sunday after church, we will head for the Bay Area to celebrate Bill's dad's 80th birthday. Right now he is still in the hospital. We don't know yet if he will still be in the hospital or if he will be moved to a convelesant hospital by then. Either way, the family will gather wherever he is at to celebrate.

Today marks 18 days until our son leaves for college.

What a Week!

2009-07-24T11:37:00.000-07:00

This has been quite a week. It has had highs and lows, wonderful times and painful times. Through it all I can say that God has been faithful, our ever present help, our source of strength.

The week started on Sunday with a wonderful church service and then the beach party I already wrote about. That was a wonderful time. The week also started with a major outbreak of algae in our swimming pool. My poor hubby has been fighting the battle against the algae all week and I think he is finally winning. Under normal circumstances this would not be a big deal but with everything else it was just one more thing to deal with at the already busy time.

Tuesday afternoon we got word that Bill's dad had been rushed to the hospital with difficulty breathing. He suffers from both Parkinson's disease and Congestive Heart Failure. What we were hearing sounded very serious so we quickly made plans to go down that evening as soon as Bill could get off work. I packed a small suitcase just in case we needed to spend the night. A little while before we left we learned that he had been moved to a regular room and seemed to be doing better. By the time we got there the part of the family that lives nearby had left. I'm sure they were exhausted. We sat with Bill's dad for a couple of hours but he never woke up during that time. We talked a little with the nurse but since the shift changed right when we got there the nurse couldn't tell us much about how he had been during the last several hours. In fact, the nurse was asking us questions that we couldn't answer because we hadn't been there when everything had happened. We finally decided to head home. We got home very late and very tired but still had difficulty sleeping.

Wednesday, Bill went to work and I tried to get things done around the house. That night we taught the next to last session of our foundations class at church. I don't feel like I gave it my best but God was there and the students who were there seemed to be getting something out of it. Only one more week of the class. While a part of me loves teaching, I will be glad when we are done. I just feel tired and am ready for a break.

We had planned a few weeks ago to go on a day trip to Yosemite on Thursday, but about a week ago changed it to Lake Tahoe because the weather was supposed to be quite hot a Yosemite. I am glad we switched it because Lake Tahoe is a shorter drive. We got off to a much later start than we had planned. We were all just tired. However, we had a beautiful drive and a wonderful time swimming in the Lake. It was so refreshing and restful. I had a wonderful time with my dear hubby and my wonderful son. In just over three weeks our son will be leaving for college so we want to make the most of our time with him.

Today, I am going to try to get the house cleaned up and go for a swim in our now algae free pool. Next week looks like it will be a busy week. The calendar looks too full. There is also the underlying concern for Bill's dad and for the rest of the family and how they are dealing with it all. Through all the highs and lows, the good and the bad, I have sensed God's constant presence. I have peace because I know that:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. Selah Psalm 46:1-3

The End of an Era

2009-07-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday afternoon we went to a end of the year beach party for Kairos, Will's high school speech and debate club. A fun time was had by all. (Will posted lots of pictures on Facebook if you want to see them.) It really feels final now. We said good-bye to Will's coach, Mrs Townes, and to many wonderful kids and their parents. We have completed our last official activity with his high school speech and debate club.

We know we will see some of these people again. Nic, the coach's son, will be attending and debating for a rival college just fifteen minutes from where my son will be. They will probably be competing against each other often. We know there will be a college tournament in Stockton, Ca at UOP sometime and we plan to go and watch. It will be a great opportunity to see our son and many kids we know who have moved from high school debate to college level debate. Nic's mom and some of the other parents also plan to go and watch at that tournament. It will be a fun reunion, especially since we will just be watching instead of having all kinds of responsibilities. No more having to judge or time debate rounds. I won't miss that part at all.

My son is counting down the days until we load up the car and take him to college. He will tell you that it is 26 days. 26 days! He can't wait. Boy this summer has flown by!

This post is from http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/

Threes of Me

2009-07-14T07:50:00.000-07:00

From Facebook:
You've been tagged: you are supposed to write a note with the Threes of YOU. At the end, choose some people to be tagged.

(To do this in Facebook, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page; paste these instructions in the body of the note; type your answers; tag people (in the right-hand corner of the app.); then click “publish.” If you are on my blog and don't have Facebook, place in comments or on your blog and let me know in comments.)

Three names you go by:
1. Michelle
2. Mom
3. Mummy

Three jobs you have had in your life
1. Fast food drone
2. Child Care
3. Homeschool Teacher

Three Places you have lived
1. San Francisco, CA
2. Fairfield, CA
3. Woodland, CA

Three favorite drinks
1. Water
2. Green tea
3. hot cocoa

Three TV shows that you watch
1. America's Test Kitchen
2. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
3. American Idol

Three favorite movies (Too hard--had to change this to movies I've watched the most):
1. Pride and Prejudice (I own almost every version and there have been many)
2. Sense and Sensibility (I have three versions)
3. Persuasion (two versions)

Three places you have been
1. Yosemite
2. Grand Canyon
3. Niagara Falls

Three places you want to go
1. Canada
2. Great Britian
3. Washington D.C.

People who text you regularly
1. Bill
2. Jennifer
3. Will

Three of your favorite foods
1. Dark Chocolate Turtles with Pecans (From Cottage of Sweets in Carmel)
2. Gourmet Vegetarian Pizza from Papa Murphys
3. Lasagna Florentine (my recipe)

Three friends you think will respond
1. No idea
2. No clue
3. Nada, zip, zilch, nothing

Three favorite years of your life
1. 1982 - married Bill
2. 1987 - daughter born
3. 1991 - son born

Three things you like about yourself
1. Happy
2. Funny
3. Loving

Three things you would change about yourself
1. Less weight
2. More boldness
3. Earning money

Three things you are looking forward to
1. More time with my hubby
2. Getting my house fixed up
3. Coming into all God has planned for my life

Progress!

2009-07-13T21:42:00.000-07:00

I was able to spend most of this morning working on the talk I will be giving at the end the month for our church's ladies group. When I was first told the topic I thought, "I know nothing about that." Now I am learning some interesting and powerful things. I am getting excited about what I will have to share. In the afternoon I did some laundry then took a break and went for a swim. The water felt so wonderful and refreshing. Tonight, Bill and I went to the last marriage group meeting (for now) and I even did my study for tomorrow morning's ladies Bible Study after we got home. I may be way behind in what I wanted to have done on my house by this point in the summer but I am feeling less overwhelmed by all the many commitments that have been demanding so much of my time. God is faithful to His word. I shared this verse back on July 8 in faith when I was feeling weary and overwhelmed and God done what it said. Praise the Lord!

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

He'll Never Let Go

2009-07-09T09:56:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, when Pastor Doug started to preach I almost thought he was going to teach Bill and my next lesson from our Foundations class. What we are studying in the Ladies Bible Study on Tuesdays (we are working our way through Romans) goes right along with last Sunday's sermon and what Bill and I are teaching. That's not all, what Dan and Janice are going to be teaching in the class they are starting this coming Sunday goes along with all of this as well. None of us intentionally coordinated any of this. Then today, this video was on Tom's Facebook and it really blessed me. It also goes right along with what Bill and I are teaching in our Wednesday night class, what we are learning in Ladies Bible Study and what Dan and Janice will be teaching in their class. Tom doesn't attend our church, he lives in another state. It's funny how that kind of thing happens so often. I can't tell you how many times a particular song at church really ministered to me and then when I get in my car to head home, THAT song is the first song I hear playing on Christian radio station as I drive home. God manages to coordinate his body in an amazing way.

Anyway, listen to this song.

Title: I'll Never Let Go Of Your Hand
Artist: Don Francisco

I know what you've been hearing
I've seen you hide your fear
Embarrassed by your weaknesses
Afraid to let Me near
I wish you knew how much
I long for you to understand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

I know you've been forsaken
By all you've known before
When you failed their expectations
They frowned and closed the door
But even if your heart itself
Should lose the will to stand
No matter what may happen, child
I'll never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away
I've sealed it with my Spirit, Blood and Word
The everlasting Father
Has made His covenant for you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard

So don't you fear to show them
All the love I have for you
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do
And even if you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand

The life that I have given you
No one can take away
I've sealed it with my Spirit, Blood and Word
The everlasting Father
Has made His covenant for you
And He's stronger than the world you've seen and heard

So don't you fear to show them
All the love I have for you
I'll be with you everywhere
In everything you do
And even when you do it wrong
And miss the joy I've planned
I'll never, never let go of your hand
I'll never let go of your hand

For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." So we may boldly say: "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Hebrews 13:5b-6

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: "For Your sake we are killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter." Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:35-39

If you are reading this on facebook, the video probably didn't transfer. You can come to my blog at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/ and see it or see it at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCx6MEdeli4&feature=player_embedded

Too Many Pans in the Fire

2009-07-08T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am realizing that I have too many pans in the fire right now. I'm not doing a great job with any of them because of the sheer numbers of things I'm trying to keep on top of. Some of these pans will be disappearing on their own in a few weeks so I just need to push through. There is light at the end of the tunnel. So what's been going on you ask?

Sunday is of course church and in the evening visiting my mom.

On Monday evenings Bill and I are meeting with several other couples going through a study on marriage. This fall most of us who are meeting now will be leading small groups studying the same material. This last Monday we even went to a birthday party after the marriage group. I'm glad we went but it meant I didn't have a chance to study for Tuesday morning.

On Tuesday morning I go to a Ladies Bible Study. Sometimes my son and I go out to lunch on Tuesdays after I get home. I've discovered he opens up more sitting across from me at a restaurant than he does in the busyness of life at home. Also, if the weather is mild I will sometimes take my mom shopping or some such thing in the afternoon. That may sound like fun and it is but it is also a challenge to manage the wheelchair and her purchases, etc. I always come home very tired from these excursions. Tuesday evenings Bill and I try to go to the local Farmer's market. We've managed to make it twice this summer. We did go last night. Then Bill had an elder's meeting. I had planned to swim while he was at the meeting but after being up so late the night before then going Ladies Bible study, taking my mom shopping, cooking dinner, and going to the Farmer's Market I was exhausted and just sat and read the book I'm reading for book club and then watched a little TV.

On Wednesday evening' Bill and I teach our class on the Foundations of the Christian Faith. I have to set a good block of time aside on Wednesday to study and prepare. Bill can teach off the cuff if he needs to...I do better if I am prepared. I NEED to be prepared.

Thursdays don't have a regular thing scheduled but it seems like there has been something going on almost every Thursday as far back as I can remember....Of course, there has been so much going on that it is all a blur and I can't remember back very far. The same goes for Fridays and Saturdays. Oh yeah, every other Friday is book club although everyone has been busy and it has been canceled or postponed several times in the last few months.

This week, there is something going on at church on Thursday evening, Friday evening and on Saturday. Plus on Saturday our son has tickets to a concert in Sacramento so either Bill or I or both of us will be driving him there for that and going back late that night to pick him up. Add into all this our daughter needs to come home for a doctor's appointment on Friday morning and be back at her job by 2pm on Saturday. I look forward to seeing her but not to all the juggling we will have to do. Help!

In summary, I'm juggling three studies plus reading a book club book. I'm trying to reorganize and declutter my home and I'm trying to help my son get ready for moving to college and deal with all the other random things that inevitably come along. Plus I have agreed to speak at the Ladies meeting at the end of July and need to start preparing for that .... What was I thinking? In addition, the need to start looking for a job this fall in the back of my mind. In all of this I'm doing well but feeling a little overwhelmed....okay, I have moments of feeling very overwhelmed.

Thankfully, I know where my strength lies. I also see the light at the end of the tunnel and in faith I'm believing it isn't an oncoming train. We have only one more meeting for the marriage group and four for our foundations class. By the end of July I will have spoken at the Ladies meeting whether I'm ready or not and two the the three studies I'm involved with will be finished. Finally, in six weeks our son will be at college and we will be adjusting to an empty nest.....less food to buy and cook, less laundry, less cleaning ......... less silliness, less deep (over my head) discussions about politics, religion and the meaning of life, less bear hugs, ....... just less.

In spite of all I see around me, all I have to do, all I have to stay on top of, all the crazy busyness....
I know I can FLY

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, The Creator of the ends of the earth, Neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young men shall utterly fall, But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:28-31

Food For Thought

2009-07-07T09:07:00.000-07:00

"Please," she said, "you're so beautiful. You may eat me if you like. I'd sooner be eaten by you then fed by anyone else."
"Dearest daughter," said Aslan, planting a lion's kiss on her twitching, velvet nose, "I knew you would not be long in coming to me. Joy shall be yours."
C.S. Lewis, The Horse and His Boy

Pledge of Allegiance

2009-07-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

I saw this on Carol Stewart's Facebook and knew I had to put it on my blog. Thanks Carol!

Think about it as you celebrate our nation's independence.

Attitude

2009-07-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

“I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.” ~Charles Swindoll

Unconditional Love

2009-07-01T10:58:00.000-07:00

Forgive me as I ramble or think “out loud” as I write about what has been on my mind lately. I know I can get long winded when I start to put my thoughts in writing like this. Based on feedback I know that some of you enjoy reading these ramblings. (Crazy people!)

(If you are reading this on Facebook, you can find more of these ramblings on my blog at http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/.)

I’ve been pondering the concept of unconditional love. On the human level, it is hard for most people to wrap their brains around the idea of love that is not mixed in with fear, manipulation, expectations, and demands, a love that isn’t based primarily on self-interest. We see so few examples of true unconditional love today. So many children grow up in broken homes and even many of those homes that stay together are miserable, full of anger, fear, manipulation and resentment. Where can these children get a picture of unconditional love? They don’t see it in their homes and if they get their understanding about what love is from from the culture, that is from TV, movies or popular music, then their understanding of what constitutes love is even more distorted. Where did you get your idea of what love is? Was it a reliable model? The only reliable model of true unconditional love is God. One writer puts it this way:

"The world takes us to a silver screen on which flickering images of passion and romance play, and as we watch the world says, “This is love.” God takes us to the foot of a tree on which a naked and bloodied man hangs and says, 'This is love.' … God always defines love by pointing to His Son. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us to give a point of reference, a living, breathing, revolutionary example of true love." ~ Joshua Harris, I Kissed Dating Goodbye

What does the bible say about this?

But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. And since we have been made right in God's sight by the blood of Christ, he will certainly save us from God's judgment. For since we were restored to friendship with God by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by his life. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God – all because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God. Romans 5:8-11

God showed how much he loved us by sending his only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love. It is not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. No one has ever seen God. But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love has been brought to full expression through us. 1 John 4:9-12

God's word tells us that while we were in sin, living as God's enemies, Christ loved us and died for us. All we have to do is accept that love. When we fully embrace that love, we change not because we are being coerced or manipulated into it but because God lives in us and His love fills us. When God’s love fills us and we embrace it, God's love can then spill out of us and we begin to love others without conditions, without manipulation, without the fear, with love that resembles God’s love for us.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

You can’t give what you don’t have. What I am finding is that the closer I am to God and the more I embrace God’s love for me, the easier it is to love others unconditionally. I am also more aware when I see "love" that is not the real thing. I cringe inside and am deeply saddened when I see manipulation, demands, coercion, and fear being used as the “tools” of love. When someone tries to use those things on me to get their way in the name of love, I don’t fall for it like I used to. Instead I pity the person because I realize that they don’t understand what love is and are being manipulated by the father of lies just like I have been and at times still am. So how do I respond when someone "loves" me conditionally and I see it for what it is? I may do what they want, because I love them, or I may NOT do what they want, because I love them. Either way, I’m saddened for them. I know they probably don’t realize what they are doing. They don't see that by trying to manipulate me they are being manipulated by the father of lies. I don't want to be a part of that kind of "love". I want my love to be pure and true and unconditional. I hope to receive unconditional love in return but that is not a condition of unconditional love.

The longer Bill and I have been married the closer we are coming to this ideal of mutual unconditional love. Of course we haven’t arrived but looking back at what our marriage used to look like 25 or 26 years ago or even 5 or 6 years ago and then looking at what it looks like today, I realize how much we have grown and changed. What we had back then was wonderful but there was always fear, fear of not doing enough, fear of disappointing the other, fear of being disappointed, fear of being hurt …. Today, I can say that I completely and totally trust my husband in the big things. There is no fear there. “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear….” 1 John 4:18 Of course, I know that little disappointments and irritations will always happen but those little things used to be such a big deal when we were first married and now most of them are quickly forgotten. Life is too short to be upset over stupid little things. I know my husband’s heart and I know his shortcomings and I treasure him, faults and all. I am blessed with a husband who loves me sacrificially, as Christ loved the Church. (see Ephesians 5:25-33). It is easy to love someone who loves you like that. I know I fall short of the kind of wife I should be in so many ways and yet my dear husband doesn’t seem to see my faults. When he looks at me I see adoration in his eyes.

Why am I writing about this today? I don’t really know but I am rambling on about what has been on my mind. I thank God for the love I have: the love of God and the love of a wonderful man. What more could I ask for? I am truly blessed!

This song says what I’m trying to say in this blog:

Title: The Love I Know
Artist: PFR
Album: Late Great Pfr

He painted 'i love you' on the bridge
then watched them burn
she bet all she had upon the love
now she's holding her cards
and lost her turn
two hearts in search of wholeness
both willing to risk it all
could true love have fled so easily
leaving both broken from the fall

not the Love i know

Chorus A
it knows no boundaries
keeps no record of wrongs
....that's the Love i know
it takes the good with the bad
and it fights to stay strong
....that's the Love i know
this Love always finds a way
to carry on
that's the Love i know

he sits all alone
and stares into an empty sky
she goes through all her mixed emotions
trying to find a reason why
was their pride to big to swallow
was their hurt to big to heal
could they find some understanding
find forgiveness that's real

that's the Love i know

Chorus B
it speaks in kindness
its seeks only what's true
....that's the Love i know
a love without condition
it looks to renew
....that's the Love i know
it knows that when hope seems gone
hope will come through
that's the Love i know

the Love i know comes from a holy God to man
isn't it time that you received it
are you starting to understand
the Love i know

that's the Love i know

My prayer for everyone reading this blog:
When I think of the wisdom and scope of God's plan, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you mighty inner strength through his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is so great you will never fully understand it. Then you will be filled with the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now glory be to God! By his mighty power at work within us, he is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope. May he be given glory in the church and in Christ Jesus forever and ever through endless ages. Amen. Ephesians 3:14

You are welcome to share this post with others, I only ask that if you place it in an email, blog or other written source that you credit it to http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

27

2009-06-29T12:32:00.000-07:00

27 years .....

That's how long we have been married as of Friday, June 26. To celebrate we went to Carmel, CA where we honeymooned. On our way home on Sunday, we stopped at the place where our daughter is working near Santa Cruz and spent the afternoon with her. During our trip the weather was mostly sunny with a little fog in the mornings. The temperature was in the high 60s during the day. We couldn't have asked for better weather. We learned when we got home that the temperature had reached 107 while we were gone.

Here are some highlights from our trip:

We stop and visit this wonderful couple every time we go to Carmel. They have been together through beautiful sunny days, drenching windy storms and monotonous bone chilling fog. Through it all they have remained rock solid in their love for and delight in each other. The wisdom they have shown us by their example has been tremendous.

Dick, the owner of the Happy Landing Inn in Carmel until about three years ago, with Edith, his 92 year old mother who still lives next door to the Inn. We had a wonderful visit with them. Dick was there to welcome us when we arrived on our honeymoon 27 years ago and has been a good friend ever since. Even though he sold the Inn and retired a few years ago he is friends with the new owners and happy to come see us and and others of his former regulars when they come to Carmel.

Sunset at Carmel Beach

Our daughter, Jennifer, on the beautiful grounds of the conference center where she works.

Enjoying a meal meal with our wonderful daughter at Santa Cruz Diner.

Look Alikes and Flash Backs

2009-06-24T09:20:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I got a text message from my daughter. She asked. "Do you know a Steve and Vicki from San Francisco?" Wow! Steve and Vicki were in my circle of friends at college, however, they weren't "Steve and Vicki" then. Steve liked a girl name Sheila back then. It was many years later that I learned though a mutual friend that Steve and Vicki had married. When I saw the names Steve and Vicki on my cell phone, a million memories came flooding back and I literally laughed out loud. I thought of all the goofy crazy times I spent hanging out with my friends. I also thought of all the hours we spent studying the Bible together and encouraging each other in faith and godliness on an otherwise very secular and worldly campus. We were all part of Inter-Varsity Christian Fellowship, a group which was my life-line during college. This group of friends helped keep me on the right path.

Anyway, it seems that Steve and Vicki were guests at the Christian Conference Center where my daughter works. She was busy doing her job and this man called her over and says, "Are you Bill and Michelle's daughter?" How did he figure out who she was? I don't know, you tell me. Is it really that obvious that Jennifer is my daughter? Here is a picture of me in college followed by one of my daughter.

Here's one of me with some friends. I'm second from the left:
Here's one of my daughter with some friends. She is second from the left if you count everybody or first from the left in the front row:

So what do you think? Scary, huh?

Our Father's Day

2009-06-22T08:11:00.000-07:00

The Bible says:

A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, But by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13

All the days of the afflicted are evil, But he who is of a merry heart has a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15

A merry heart does good, like medicine, But a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22

It's all about perspective. Some people might look at our Father's Day and say, "What a lousy day!" But I think it was a wonderful day. I have so much to be thankful for.

If you just focus on the negative you could see a lot of bad. We missed church because be needed to be in the Bay Area at 11am to have lunch with Bill's parents. We really love church and don't like missing. We had to drive two hours to get there and then when we got there Bill's dad had had a rough night and wouldn't wake up. The whole two hours we were there he really never was fully awake. Then we had to drive two hours back. By the time we got home my poor hubby was exhausted. He took a nap and I went to the store to get something for dinner because I wanted something special for his Father's Day dinner. On my way home from the store I got a flat tire. I called my poor hubby and he got up from his nap and came and waited in the hot sun for AAA. We moved the groceries to his truck and I took them home and began getting everything ready for dinner. By the time my poor hubby got home, dinner was actually starting to get cold. So you see, if you just look at these things you could say, "What a terrible Father's Day!"

I have learned, however, that perspective is a major component to happiness. So let's look at the day again from a different perspective. My husband, son and I had a nice drive to the Bay Area. Our son was able to tell us lots that happened on his trip to South Carolina. Since he just go home yesterday we hadn't heard a lot yet. It was a blessing to all be together in the car for two hours with nothing to do but talk. Then, we got to see the board and care home that Bill's dad is being cared for at and it is wonderful. The people who are caring for him are so very nice and the place is clean and comfortable. I have seen lot's of places over the years for caring for elderly people with health issues and this was one of the nicest, especially when you consider the amount of care he needs. We got to spend some time with Bill's mom. While we were there, our daughter called to wish her dad a happy Father's day and she was able to talk to her grandma as well. Afterward we went to see the ocean. I miss the ocean and it was wonderful to look at it and see the beauty of God's creation. Then, we had a pleasant drive home. Our son, who is still suffering from jet lag, slept on the way home so my hubby and I had some time to talk. Anytime we have "just the two of us" time to talk is a blessing. So far a wonderful day!

After we got home, my hubby was able to take a much needed nap. I went to the store to get something nice for dinner. On the way home I got a flat tire but I was able to safely pull over and park. The situation could have been much worse. I called my husband. He immediately got up from his nap and came to where I was stuck. I know how blessed I am. Some men would have spent the rest of the day grumbling and complaining or even gotten angry at his poor wife for something so completely out of her control. My husband quickly and cheerfully came and waited in the hot son for AAA. How blessed I am! But God is good. He blesses those who honor Him. As my husband was waiting he saw in the trunk a stack of guidepost magazines. My mom had been de-cluttering and had asked me to get rid of those for her. I had put them in my trunk intending to put them in the recycling toter but hadn't done that yet. My husband picked up one of the magazines and began reading. The article he read was just what he needed to read to meet a need in his life. Had I not had the flat tire, those magazines would have found their way into the recycling toter and my hubby never would have seen the article. (Perhaps I won't be so quick to recycle those magazines after all. Since I've been trying to de-clutter my own house the idea of bringing a stack of magazines in didn't appeal to me but maybe these are worth looking through after all.) When my hubby got home we had a wonderful dinner, and since he was hot the fact that the food was not quite hot anymore was a blessing. So you see, God is good and we had a wonderful father's day.

Yesterday afternoon, my first response when the tire went flat was not positive but I quickly changed my attitude. I chose to be grateful for all the good in the situation, grateful to my husband for loving me and quickly coming to help without complaining, grateful to God for giving me my wonderful husband and, I choose to see the humor in the situation. People who can laugh at themselves and their situation are just so much happier. So share the laugh with me. I updated my status on Facebook with the following:

Michelle is forever grateful to her knight in shining armor (husband in a blue pick-up truck) for fighting his way through muck and mire of the swamps (getting up from his Father’s Day nap) to rescue this poor damsel in distress (that’s me) from the evil dragon (flat tire) that was holding me prisoner (stuck) in a dungeon (a hot car) in his gloomy castle (Kentucky Ave). ♥ ♥ ♥

And yes, I do see my husband as my knight in shining armor. ♥ ♥ ♥ I couldn't ask for a better husband.

FEAR

2009-06-19T08:52:00.000-07:00

One thing that Bill and I have learned from teaching our class is that the topic of fear can be confusing for a new Christian. First they are told that God loves them and that “perfect love casts out all fear” (1 John 4:18), then they are told that “the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 9:10) The two concepts seem to contradict each other. Because of this, we take some time in our class to explain the difference between the unhealthy fear that is the result of sin and the healthy fear that brings us closer to God and keeps us from sinning. Sadly, many people, Christians included, live daily with a tremendous amount of unhealthy fear. They need to know that this fear is not from God and that God does have the answer so that they do not have to live in fear but can, instead, enjoy a healthy fear of the Lord.

One of the first emotions expressed by fallen humanity was fear. (see Genesis 3:8-10) Today fear is too often the bottom-line emotion in peoples’ relationships and actions. Fear causes people to build walls to true intimacy and to lash out in anger at others or to try to control and manipulate them. While the theology in the Star Wars movies is pretty messed up, one thing I agree with, “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” All unhealthy kinds of fear move us away from God and His limitless love. We turn to ourselves and rely on our own means to avoid or destroy the source of fear and often leave pain and destruction in our wake. On the other hand, healthy fear moves us closer to God. Healthy fear is rooted in love and trust. Healthy fear results in obedience to God and God ordained authority. Healthy fear protects us from hurting ourselves and others.

There are two kinds of healthy fear. One, a reasonable fear of pain and suffering, keeps us from taking foolish chances and doing foolish things but is under regulation and can be overridden if circumstances necessitate it. Little needs to be said about this kind of fear. We all understand it. For example, we all are careful not to touch the hot burner on the stove because we don’t want the pain of a burn but most of us still use the stove and cook and even occasionally get burned. Our fear causes us to use reasonable caution but does not prevent us from doing what needs to be done. The other healthy fear, which I will go into more detail about is the fear of the Lord.

The fear of the Lord does not mean fearing judgment or punishment from God when we sin. 1 John 4:18 says “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us.” That kind of fear causes us to run from and hide from God as Adam and Eve did. (see Genesis 3:8-10) We see this so often today when Christians stop praying, reading their Bible and going to church when they know they are not living like God wants for them to live. The very thing they need the most is what they avoid. They are trying to hide from God and they are miserable the whole time.

So far I’ve explained what the fear of the Lord isn’t. So what is the fear of the Lord? The fear of the Lord is a recognition of and reverence for God’s holiness and righteousness, leading to a revulsion of sin in our personal lives that motivates us to avoid sinning. Proverbs 8:13 says, “All who fear the LORD will hate evil. That is why I hate pride, arrogance, corruption, and perverted speech.” Exodus 20:20 says, “Don’t be afraid,” Moses said, “for God has come in this way to show you his awesome power. From now on, let your fear of him keep you from sinning!” Here we see Moses telling the Israelites not to be afraid (unhealthy fear) but instead now that they've seen how awesome God is, to let the fear the Lord keep them from sinning. The fear of the Lord is also a recognition of how destructive sin is and a deep sense of the price Jesus paid to rid us of our sin. When confronted with an opportunity to sin that on the surface seems pleasurable the fear of the Lord causes us to say, as Joseph did in Genesis 39:9 “… How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" That is how the fear of the Lord causes us to act wisely and why the Bible says in both Proverbs 9:10 and Psalms 111:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom…” How much pain, suffering and heartache would be avoided today if we, the Church, was full of people acting in wisdom because we all have a healthy fear of the Lord? If, when tempted to sin, the cry of our hearts was, “… How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" (Genesis 39:9) What kind of impact could we have on the world?

Once we have a glimpse of His awesome holiness, righteousness and justice and begin to comprehend the price He paid to free us from sin, then we begin to develop a healthy fear of the Lord and sin in our lives causes us to run to God because we understand how much we need Him. Once we understand God’s love for us, sin in our lives doesn’t cause us to run from God, it causes us to run to Him. 1 John 4:18 says “Such love has no fear because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of judgment, and this shows that his love has not been perfected in us.” Hebrews 4:16 says “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it.” That is what God wants us to do with our sin. Run to Him! Come boldly! Don’t be afraid! Let Him take it from us. Why do we cling to our sin as if it was something worth holding on to?

The Benefits of the Fear of the Lord:

"The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.” Psalms 19:9

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; A good understanding have all those who do His commandments. His praise endures forever." Psalms 111:10

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." Proverbs 9:10

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction." Proverbs 1:7

"The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverse mouth I hate." Proverbs 8:13

"The fear of the Lord prolongs days, But the years of the wicked will be shortened." Proverbs 10:27

"In the fear of the Lord there is strong confidence, And His children will have a place of refuge." Proverbs 14:26

"The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, To turn one away from the snares of death.” Proverbs 14:27

"The fear of the Lord is the instruction of wisdom, And before honor is humility.” Proverbs 15:33

“In mercy and truth Atonement is provided for iniquity; And by the fear of the Lord one departs from evil.” Proverbs 16:6

“The fear of the Lord leads to life, And he who has it will abide in satisfaction; He will not be visited with evil.” Proverbs 19:23

“By humility and the fear of the Lord Are riches and honor and life.” Proverbs 22:4

“The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, And He will show them His covenant.” Psalm 25:14

“As a father pities his children, So the Lord pities those who fear Him.” Psalms 103:13

“And Moses said to the people, "Do not fear; for God has come to test you, and that His fear may be before you, so that you may not sin." Exodus 20:20

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the Lord and depart from evil.” Proverbs 3:7

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

Remember: Unhealthy fear causes you run from God. Healthy fear causes you to run to God.

“….For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never forsake you.” That is why we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6

You are welcome to share this post with others, I only ask that if you place it in an email, blog or other written source that you credit it to http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

True Freedom

2009-06-18T09:27:00.000-07:00

Right now Bill and I are in the middle of co-teaching a three month long class at our church on Wednesday nights on the Foundational Truths of the Christian Faith. We taught this class twice a year for several years then took a four year hiatus because life just got too busy. Now we are back to teaching it again and, though challenging, teaching this class has been a real blessing. I love teaching people who are hungry for God. Right now we have students who are just soaking it in and we can see in there faces that the weights are being lifted off of them as they learn the Truth that sets them free. That makes teaching such a blast!

Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, "If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." John 3:31-32

Last night we taught from the first three chapters of Genesis and I shared the following story to illustrate what true freedom is and how we can often think there is freedom in sin but in reality there is only death:

Imagine, if you will, a fish pond in the middle of a garden. The gardener has placed the pond in a safe sheltered spot. The gardener regularly checks to make sure the water level and chemical make-up of the pond is just right. He even comes everyday with food for the fish. The fish have it made, don’t they? All their needs are provided, they have other fish to swim with and they are safe from the cat that lurks at the edge of the pond because the cat can’t stand the water. Within the safety of the pond the fish have the freedom to pretty much do whatever they want and go wherever they want.

Imagine now one fish who decides that it must be better outside the pond, he thinks he is missing out, he feels limited by the pond and decides he wants to be FREE of the boundaries set for him by the gardener. He wants to be like those he sees living outside the pond. And so with some effort he takes a swimming leap and hurls himself out of the pond and onto the dirt by the edge of the pond. For a few seconds he feels exhilaration as he says to himself, “I’m free, I’m free!” …. ??? But is he free??? ….. He soon he realizes that he can’t breathe, he struggles to move and finds all he can do is flop on the ground in one spot. From a few feet away the cat licks its lips hungrily and prepares to pounce. “I’m not free!” gasps the fish in desperation, “I realize now, I WAS free before. There is no freedom in this, only death and I’m dying!”

When we try to live in a way other than how God designed us to live then like the fish trying to live out of water we end up flopping in the dirt. The boundaries God has set for us are not to keep us from enjoying ourselves, they are like the pond is to the fish. Within those boundaries is life, and freedom and blessing; outside those boundaries is death and bondage and destruction. The Bible says in Romans 6:23 “the wages of sin is death.” There is no such thing as a victimless sin, all sin leads to death and that is why God hates sin. Sin brings death, only God gives eternal life and freedom.

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, for he has appointed me to preach Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the downtrodden will be freed from their oppressors, and that the time of the Lord's favor has come." Luke 4:18 – 19

Now, the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, he gives freedom. Corinthians 3:17

So Christ has really set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law. Galatians 5:1

But if you keep looking steadily into God's perfect law-the law that sets you free-and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it. James 1:25

You are not slaves; you are free. But your freedom is not an excuse to do evil. You are free to live as God's slaves. 1 Peter 2:16

You are welcome to share this story with others, I only ask that if you place it in an email, blog or other written source that you credit it to http://happymomsramblings.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

The Plus Side of Minus

2009-06-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

Right now our home is experiencing a temporary test run of having an empty nest. Jennifer is at her summer job in Santa Cruz (and loving it) and Will is in South Carolina at the NCFCA National Tournament. If you don't count the dog, the cats and, of course, the ever present goldfish, Bill and I have had the house to ourselves since Sunday morning. I am getting to see first hand what an empty nest can be like. I am making many interesting discoveries.

Bill took Monday off because he had to work on Saturday. We spent the day together doing things around the house and running errands. That evening we did something at church together with a few other couples. What I have discovered so far is that I really love my husband's company. Okay, I already knew that but haven't been able to experience the just the two of us thing very much for many years. When my husband has had time off it was almost always taken up with doing things with and for our children or church activities. On Monday we didn't do anything special or romantic but just being together without the busyness and distraction of having our children around made it a fun relaxed bonding time. In other words, it became a special time just being together.

I've discovered other things too. I've learned that cooking for two is really a lot easier and less expensive than cooking for a whole family of picky eaters and meal clean up is also pretty easy if you cook simply. I've also learned that if I clean up an area, it stays clean much longer if their are no kids in the house. I've also learned that with no kids at home I can play the music I like as much as I want. I can watch chick flicks without kids walking in the room and rolling their eyes. I've learned that I really enjoy my own company and don't mind being alone. Okay, I already knew that too but haven't experienced the joy of solitude much for many years. You might say I am discovering the plus side of a home minus kids.

Don't get me wrong. My internet handle is "Happy Mom" for a reason. I have loved being a mom with a passion and intensity that is beyond description. If God had blessed us with more children thus extending the parenting job for many years to come I would have embraced that with great joy. However, I find myself surprised that I feel so ready emotionally to move on to the next season of my life. There will certainly be bittersweet moments and I won't pretend that I won't shed a few tears when the time comes for letting my baby boy go and step out into the world as a man.

Still, in two months when my son leaves home for college I think I will be ready to embrace the plus side of minus.

4:00 am is too early.

2009-06-14T14:45:00.000-07:00

4:00 am is way too early but it is the time Bill and I had to get up to take our son Will to the airport this morning. Will is on his way to South Carolina for the NCFCA National Tournament.

No, he did not get a spot to compete. Sadly, he was one place away from qualifying. However, he has always wanted to attend a national tournament even if he wasn't competing. Plus, although he isn't competing himself and he has been working tirelessly researching Extemp evidence for Nic, one of his teammates who did qualified in Extemporaneous. Extemp requires a huge amount of research and there was no way Nic could have done it all. Especially since Nic is competing in several other events that he needed to prepare for as well. Will wanted to go and support Nic and the rest of his close friends. Many kids go on a senior trip when they graduate from high school and since this is where Will really wanted to go we decided to send him as his "Senior Trip." This is his last chance to hang out with many of his friends from speech and debate. Others, like Nic, he will see often because they will be on the debate teams of rival colleges.

Here is a picture of Will and Nic at a tournament earlier this year. It was the one at Concordia University in Irvine, CA in January.

Anyway, we told Will to text us when he landed in Houston, Texas and again when he got to Greenville, South Carolina. We also told him to call us if there was any kind of a problem. He got to Texas just fine. There he learned that his connecting flight was delayed due to weather. He was a good boy and called. Of course, I was in church when the call came. Thankfully, I had it on vibrate. Still, I think some people got concerned when Bill and I dashed out of the service with a cell phone in my hand. Especially, when we dashed out a second time about a half hour later because he called again with a further update. For those of you from church who were wondering about our strange behavior...that is the explanation.

Update: While typing the last sentence, Will called and he has landed in South Carolina. He says the weather is overcast and very humid. On the plane were other NCFCA people so it sounds like the fun has already started.

For Bill and I, we will get to try out having an empty nest for a week. Too bad we are so tired from our early morning. Tomorrow the fun begins!

I'm A Nut!

2009-06-12T19:38:00.000-07:00

I saw this quiz on Ruth's blog and decided to give it a try.

When my children were little I taught them a song that went like this:

I'm a little acorn brown
sitting on the cold, cold ground
Everybody steps on me
that is why I'm cracked you see

I'm a nut!
I'm a nut!
I'm a nut!
I'm a nut!
I'm a nut!

I guess you could say this quiz suits me.

You Are a Hazelnut

You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out.

Most people don't really know how to interact with you.

You get along best with anyone who is super sweet.

But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them.

What Nut Are You?

It's So Easy To Forget

2009-06-11T09:12:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of days I have worked on cleaning out my bedroom closet which hasn't had a complete cleaning out for many, many years. The floor of the closet was piled with boxes and other random things. There were boxes and bags of old photographs that I need to organize and put away properly. I found all my old vinyl record albums along with some 45s and loads of cassette tapes. Then I pulled out one box and in it found old schoolwork that my kids did years ago. So many memories came flooding back....

I found a paper Jennifer wrote about her dad. It was priceless! Of course, my daughter writes so much better now but the content of what she was communicating, the love she showed and honor she paid her father was so awesome to read. It is a paper my husband and I will treasure forever.

What amazed me the most was reading over some of my son's writing assignments from five plus years ago. I was stunned by how horrible they were! First they were difficult to read because the penmanship was so bad. Then the grammar and sentence structure were pathetic. Finally, the content was poor because he didn't flesh anything out or explain it well enough to be understood. I think he said things with as few words as possible to save him having to write more words than necessary. He disliked writing and just wanted to be done. He didn't care if it made sense to the reader. He knew what he was writing about. I remember being concerned then that he would never be able to write well enough to communicate. I actually wondered how it would affect his ability to get a job someday. College wasn't really on our radar yet. Now I am holding in my hand the speech he wrote for his high school graduation just a month ago. It is clear, well organized and well thought out. There are very few grammar mistakes. Although that was written on the computer, there are plenty of samples of his penmanship all over this house and they are neat and easy to read. What a change in just a few short years! My son has become a really good writer and communicator.

In two months, that boy whose writing just a few years ago didn't communicate well at all will be a college freshman majoring in Communications. He will, also, be on the Speech and Debate team of his college and between that and his major classes he will be writing on a daily basis in an effort to communicate, convince and persuade people. What would have seemed impossible to me a few years ago is about to become a reality. Oh, me of little faith!

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." Mark 10:27

For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27

I thank God for giving me this reminder of how far we have come and all that He has done. I know it wasn't my ability as a teacher that brought this about. It was all God. God had a plan and my weaknesses: my lack of ability as a teacher, the hectic pace of trying to care for elderly parents and teach my kids at the same time, and even my own lack of faith in a good outcome didn't stop my God. God put a passion for speech and debate into my son's heart and that has motivated him beyond anything I could do as his mom and teacher to become a great writer and communicator. God is so good!

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 2:10

More Graduation Pics

2009-06-09T08:47:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, other people got better pictures at Will's graduation than we got. These pictures have been passed on to me and I am going to share some of the best with you. Enjoy!

Goofing around before the ceremony starts.

Waiting for "Pomp and Circumstance."

Will giving his speech!

Dad (the principal) has a few words of blessing for his son.

Dad, you have two minutes left!

Presentation of the diploma!

Presenting the class of 2009!

You may move your tassels!

This was taken moments after tossing his hat in the air.
"Look out world, here I come!"

It's party time!

A Busy Weekend and Blessed Rest

2009-06-08T09:43:00.000-07:00

On Saturday we had two graduation parties to go to for young men in our church who just graduated from high school. We normally visit my mom every Sunday evening but since we knew we had another commitment on Sunday night we went on Saturday night. After that we realized that we had eaten nothing but junk food at parties all day and were really hankering for a good salad so we went to Applebees and ordered salads. Yum!

On Sunday it was my turn in the nursery. I don't know why it is but the Sunday that is my turn in the nursery always seems to be the most crowded in the nursery. We had over ten children in there at one point. Thankfully, I have a great teenage helper and she brought a friend of hers with her so there were plenty of arms to love the little ones with. Still by the time church was over I was exhausted. We still had a long day ahead of us. My son, Will, had a speech demonstration in Vacaville that afternoon and then we had a baccalaureate service at church that night. I could barely put one foot in front of the other and didn't know how I was going to make it through the rest of the day.

My wonderful husband saw how tired I was. He said, "I can take our son to the speech demonstration. You stay home and get some rest." And that is exactly what I did. I took a long, luxurious nap. (I almost never nap.) I felt so much better after that. My husband even brought dinner home with him so I didn't have to cook. Wow! More luxury!

We quickly ate because it was almost time for the baccalaureate service at church. God is so good. We have four new high school graduates in our church and God ministered to each one in a special way as our church took time to pray for and encourage these young men and one young woman. After that was a time of fellowship.

It was a busy weekend but also a good weekend. And thanks to my husband, it was a restful weekend.

Our Weekend and Beyond

2009-06-01T08:41:00.000-07:00

This has been a busy but good weekend. We had a Ladies Retreat at our church that my daughter and I went too. It was a good time and a growing time. We started off on Friday night with a time of worship then we spent some time acknowledging our corporate and individual grief over all those from our church who have gone to be with the Lord this year. It was important and healing to clear the air and deal with the weight that has been so heavy on everyone's hearts.

Then, the guest speaker on Friday and Saturday nights, Christa Procter, taught about five poisons to friendships/relationships. They are:
#1 Control
#2 Judgment
#3 Insecurity
#4 Gossip
#5 Grudges or unforgiveness

During the day on Saturday we had lessons from the life of Mary and Martha. We also had activities that we rotated through in small groups. We spent time playing a game that helped us get to know those in our group better. We spent time in a reflection garden learning object lessons from the parable of the soils from Matthew 13. This was a very touching and impacting time as we examined the different types of soil in a hands on way and then considered our own lives in comparison to the soil. For me, I realized that too often in the last few years I have been the soil described in Matthew 13:22, "The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life ...." I am not really a worrier really but I have had so much on my mind and so much to do that too quickly my thoughts are distracted from what God is trying to teach me in His Word or through sermons, etc. that I don't actually live out what I have learned and ultimately forget the lessons. Finally, we planted a flower garden behind the church building in honor of Ellen Zeck, the mother of our pastor and the wife of our founding pastor, who went to be with the Lord about a month ago. The garden was originally planned months ago to honor her when she was doing fine. Little did we know that it would become a memorial to her. It is a lovely garden and will become a wonderful place to sit quietly and pray.

On Sunday morning at church we heard a wonderful message about dealing with the storms that will inevitably come into each of our lives. After church we had a quick lunch of leftovers. Then I took our son Will to his friend, Tyler's house. Tyler is leaving this week on a missions trip so this was their last get together before he leaves.

Then we packed Jennifer's stuff into her car and our car to take Jennifer to her summer job at a Christian Conference Center near Santa Cruz. We got started later than we should have. She was supposed to be there by 4pm. We arrived there at about 3:55pm. She got checked in and was shown to her cabin. She was told she needed to be at a certain place at 4:30 so we quickly unloaded her stuff and put it on her bed. There was no time for me to help her set up and organize her stuff like I have always done when we move her into her dorm each year. Bill went to move Jennifer's car back to the parking lot and I went to the restroom. By the time I came out Jennifer had already dashed off to where she needed to go. I got in our car and drove to where Bill was. We drove past where Jennifer was sitting at a table outside talking with her new co-workers and we realized that we probably shouldn't go make an emotional good-bye scene. So we waved to her from the car and Bill told her where her car was parked and we left without even a good-bye hug.

Bill and I then drove to Carmel. We figured since we were already this close we should take the time to go to one of our favorite places for dinner. We enjoyed a nice dinner at one of our favorite restaurants in Carmel. Then we went for a nice stroll through Carmel. We went to the Bed and Breakfast Inn that we like to stay at and sat in the garden talking for a while. Then we walked to the Cottage of Sweets, a place we always have to visit when in Carmel. I got a wonderful dark chocolate pecan turtle (my all time favorite) and Bill chose a dark chocolate rocky road candy. We walked to our car and headed home enjoying our chocolates as we drove. We got home at about 11pm tired but happy.

The most wonderful thing was that we really had time to talk for the first time in a quite a while. We really needed that time just the two of us with no distractions from kids or things that need to be done around the house.

Today, I am going to begin my summer project of changing our home from a school to a haven for my husband and I. I am envisioning a less cluttered, more organized, easier to keep clean place that we can relax in, a place that reflects who we are now instead of looking like a cross between a school and a thrift store. I want a home that doesn't demand so much of our time so that we can actually enjoy it more. I expect this project to take all summer and maybe longer. For so many years I have let things slide around here. Ever since my parents came to live near us so that we could help them, my home has dropped on my priority list and gradually become more and more out of control, especially in closets and cabinets and those things visitors don't see. Usually, I focus on keeping the living room reasonably clean because that is what guests see. However, now I am going to start in those parts that guests never see and work my way to the more public areas. My top priority is the master bedroom which is where I have stashed stuff that really doesn't belong there like boxes of school books that I am trying to sell and even our homeschool group's library. (The library will soon be moving to the new librarian's house. That will clear out a lot very quickly.) I am looking forward to getting it all done.

Now What?

2009-05-18T08:24:00.000-07:00

My friend Ruth wrote about the graduation on her blog. She also had some great pictures of the graduation. I stole one of them since it was of my son. Here it is:

Will during his speech.

If you want to see the rest of Ruth's pictures just check out Ruth's blog. Ruth is a fellow retired homeschool mom (or is that just plain tired. ) Ruth's youngest, Daniel, graduated last year along with several other of Will's closest friends.

Now the gang is breaking up. Josh left today for the Marines. (God speed, Josh, you are in our prayers.) Tyler will be leaving on a summer missions trip in a couple of weeks, then in the fall will be going to school in Oregon. Will, of course, will be going to college in Southern California this fall. Only Daniel is staying local and going to college locally. Here is a picture from last year's graduation with all Will's best buddies:

Kendall, Josh, Tyler, Austin, Daniel

And here are the four buddies playing Rockband:
Daniel on the sofa playing guitar, Will on drums, Josh on the floor, Tyler singing passionately

Over the last several months, several people have asked, "What are you going to do once Will graduates?" Now that moment has come. I thought I would be sad but I'm not. Instead, I feel a tremendous sense of accomplishment and I feel like I have been handed a wonderful gift called time. The next couple of weeks will be busy enough since our house is in chaos because of getting ready for the graduation and having our daughter and all her stuff home. But then, I am looking forward to having time to fix up my house like I haven't had time to do for years. I am going to transform our home from a home with a school in it to a comfortable home and haven for my hubby and I. I am going to exercise regularly and get healthier and I'm going to take the the time to do the things I enjoy doing more. Then, come August once my son leaves for college, I am going to look for a job to help pay for two kids in college.

I have loved homeschooling but I know it is time for that journey to end and a new one to begin.

That's My Boy!

2009-05-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

My son, Will, is now a high school graduate. The graduation ceremony went very well and my son's speech was awesome. He didn't show me what he wrote beforehand, although he had bounced numerous ideas off me, so I didn't know what the finished speech was going to be like. I was especially touched when he concluded with these words:

"Countless people have asked me over the years the question that all home-schoolers fear, "If you had the choice would you go to public high-school?" For years I sincerely struggled with answering that question truthfully. Now at the end, I can confidently say that I would not change it for the world. The direction of my life has been forever changed by the worldview that homeschooling and my parents have developed in me through the principles of a biblical foundation. In conclusion, I encourage the graduates at this end to re-examine all the aspects of your worldview through the eyes of scripture, and I urge you to be wary of those who will attempt to change your worldview.Thank you."

Nothing could have pleased me more than to hear those words.

Will giving his speech

All the graduates during the ceremony.
Each student chose the color they wanted for their gown.

Here are all the graduates at the reception.

A Weary Heart

2009-05-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

I have been experiencing a kind of malaise this week or actually for some weeks. Not a physical malaise but an emotional one. My husband is feeling the same way. Why you may ask? There has just been too many sad things one after the other for the last several months. Those of you who go to the same church I go to know exactly what I'm talking about but for the rest of you here is a summary.

Since January we have had five deaths of people that are part of our church, six if you count the one that was part of our church for years but moved away a few years ago. Six precious saints who we knew and loved. In some cases they were people that were a major part of our lives and in other cases they are close family to people who we are especially close to.

The first is a man in his forties who died suddenly and unexpectedly of asthma. He left behind a wife and small children.

Then a dear saint and prayer warrior, aged 75, died of cancer leaving behind a husband and several grown children and numerous grandchildren. Her husband and my husband have ministered together reaching out to those that come to our church from a local addiction recovery facility. They are dear people who we love.

Then, before we had time to really deal with this loss emotionally, a woman in her forties died of cancer. While I didn't know her very well, I am good friends with her mother. Her mother and I have attended the same ladies Bible study for years and have shared our hearts there.

Then, before we had time to deal with this last loss, a man in our church that has been a part of this church since his childhood died of cancer leaving behind a wife and two sons. The sons are close in age to my own children. The one closest in age to my son has spent the night at our house and played with our son when they children. While all the deaths hit us, this death hit us especially hard. I will never forget the time we went to a concert with this couple and the fun we had together. This man's parents are pillars in our church and have ministered great encouragement and wisdom to my husband and I. In the months preceding their son's death several members of their extended family passed away one after the other. They also lost a daughter just a few years ago. Our hearts just ache for this family. They are incredibly strong and full of faith but I still can't imagine what they are feeling.

Then, the day before the above man's memorial, the 93 year old mother of our pastor had a stroke and died within a couple weeks. She was just buried on Monday. Her husband, our church's previous pastor, passed away several years ago and she has been wanting to join him ever since. I am happy for her, she is with her beloved savior and her beloved husband, but I also understand her family's sense of loss and our church's great loss of this wonderful pillar, prayer warrior and exhorter.

In addition, we got word about a week ago that a man who had been part of our church for many years but had a few years ago moved away to be near his grown children passed away. This was a man who along with his wife (who passed away some years ago) ministered great encouragement and wisdom to my husband and I. They were very special to us.

I know that each of these wonderful people are now with the Lord and I rejoice for them. They no longer suffer. Still it is hard for those left behind and it is hard on a church to deal with so many loses at once.

Add to the above my father-in-law's deteriorating health and a number of smaller hurts and disappointments that various ones in our family have experienced that I won't elaborate on right now. Any other time they would probably be a big deal but they are small matters in light of everything else.

Finally, in just a few days my youngest will graduate high school and while I'm giving a hugh sigh of relief and am glad to be done, I am also sad. I loved homeschooling. It was hard, it was challenging, it was a JOY! In three months time my son will pack his bags and leave for college and, while a part of me looks forward to the time and the freedom this will give me, another part of me knows I will be just a little lost when he goes. Still, with everything else going on, this very important time in my son's life has almost taken a back seat in my thoughts.

The thing is, I haven't had time to deal with any of the above. All these things have come one on top of the other with little time in between. Just as I was passed the shock and ready to start really dealing with one thing, the next one happened and so the emotions are all bottled up leaving me with the malaise I spoke of earlier. I pray the Lord will give us a break now so our church, all the wonderful hurting people that are our church, can begin to heal and move forward.

I know all the sadness that has hit our church is a season that will pass. I know that God is still on His throne and in control. I know, in fact, that God is using and will continue to use all these losses for good. My faith is unwavering. If anything it is stronger. Still, I'm emotionally tired. My heart is weary.

Listen, I tell you a mystery: We will not all sleep, but we will all be changed-- in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For the perishable must clothe itself with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality. When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. 1 Corinthians 15:51-58

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T13:54:00.000-07:00

This was on Celia's facebook and I was so encouraged by it that I wanted to share it with you:

Be blessed and remember that God sees.

She's Home!

2009-05-05T13:07:00.001-07:00

Just wanted to catch everyone up. On Saturday we went to the Bethany University Graduation. While my daughter didn't graduate, many of her friends did including Mary, one of her closet friends. In the two years Jennifer has been away at college her two closest friends, Mary and Audrey, have become like other daughters to us and we love them dearly. Of course, we had to go see our girl, Mary, graduate.

It was a lovely and inspiring graduation and afterward a time for friends to say their good-byes. In some cases it's just good-bye for the summer and in others, only God knows how soon they will meet again.

Jennifer, Mary, Heather, Audrey

Jennifer, Audrey, Wyatt, Mary

After that we loaded all of our daughter's stuff that wasn't already crammed into her car into our car. Both cars were filled to the brim, trunk and back seats, with stuff. I have to wonder how she fit it all in her half of her little dorm room. Then we drove home. My hubby drove our car and Jennifer drove her car with me riding along as her passenger.

I have to say I am so impressed with Jennifer's driving. When she first went off to college she wouldn't drive on the freeway at all. She was a good driver but lacked confidence in her driving ability and wouldn't venture onto a freeway. Over the last year at college she has ventured further and further from the relative safety of just driving in the town around the college. Now she handles freeway driving like an old pro and is often called on by her friends to be the taxi driver. (The kid with a car always has friends.)

Now that she is home she is catching up on her sleep and trying to organize her things so that she will be ready to leave again at the end of the month for her summer job. She is also listening to college lectures on the internet. That's right. She could completely let herself go brain dead if she wanted but instead she is listening to college lectures just for fun while she works on cleaning up her room and organizing her stuff.

She and I also spent some time exploring the new Michaels craft store that recently opened in town as well as the JoAnns Fabrics that has been in town forever. At college she not only learned her academics but she learned how to knit and crochet and was looking for yarn to match some in a project she had already started. Here she is modeling something she made at college:

I am really enjoying having my daughter home and discovering the wonderful person she has become.

Bits and Pieces

2009-05-01T21:32:00.000-07:00

Over the last week I've gone though book shelves and pulled out many of the books that we have used in our homeschool. I then made a list of those books, decided what would be a reasonable asking price and today I posted my list of items for sale on our homeschool groups email list. As the emails have come in from people wanting to purchase various items I have had a very bitter-sweet feeling. I am glad these wonderful books are going to new homes where they will be used and enjoyed but at the same time I have wonderful memories of using some of these items. I know it would be foolish to hold on to them. I will never have need of them again. Still, I am surprised at the mixed emotions.

Tomorrow morning we will be getting up early and driving to the San Jose/Santa Cruz area. First we will be going to the college graduation of Mary, one our our daughter Jennifer's dearest friends at college. Mary has become like a daughter to us. After the graduation we will probably spend a little time doing fun stuff with our daughter and some of her friends then we will be loading all our daughter's stuff that doesn't fit into her car into ours. Then we will head for home.

That's right our daughter is coming home but not for long. She will be with us for one month and then will be heading to her summer job at a Christian campground in the Santa Cruz mountains. I'm looking forward to having her home even if only for a little while.

What Was I Thinking?!

2009-04-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

On Facebook there are these silly little quizzes you can take. Some of them are a complete waste of time and some are very amusing but on occasion they are very insightful and I am amazed at how well they describe me. Yesterday I took the What kind of Mother are YOU? quiz and the result was The What was I thinking Mom.

It went on to describe my mothering in this way:

"I was thinking I was going to be so much better at this mom thing. You're the mom that just keeps trying to get it right. Multi-tasking everything, working, volunteering , you are trying to get it right but there's just so much to do. You're ok just keep trying."

(I corrected the spelling and grammar in the above quote before posting it. The teacher in me just kept cringing as I read it so I fixed it. I know technically you aren't supposed to fix a direct quote but this is my blog so I did it anyway.)

"What was I thinking?!" I really like this result. It fits what my life as a parent has been like.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to be a mom more than anything and I have never for a moment wished I wasn't a mom. I love being a mom and don't quite know what I'm going to do when the empty nest hits in full force in just a few months. That said, parenting is the worst job I've ever loved.

So many people have pegged me as the perfect mom and all the time I know how flawed I really am. I love my kids passionately and try very hard to do what is best for my children but there are so many things that I have wished I had a better handle on over the years. Throw homeschooling and caring for elderly parents into the mix and "What was I thinking?!"

It ultimately comes down to this: God blessed us with two precious children when the doctors didn't give us much hope to ever have any. Then God told Bill and I to homeschool those children and He knew beforehand that my parents would need my care. My job was simply to "Trust God, lean not on your own understanding." - " Just do the next thing." - "Keep on swimming. Keep on swimming." - I spent most of the last 18 years just trying desperately to keep my head above water only to realize that God was holding me up the whole time. It is truly only by God's mercy and grace that my kids have turned out as wonderful as they are. I have loved being a mom and thank God every day for my precious children but I had no idea how hard a job it really is. "What was I thinking?!"

I once heard someone say that parenting is a tool God uses for our sanctification. Sanctification is the process by which He causes us to grow, mature and become more Christlike. I think there is a lot of truth in that idea. Nothing has exposed my sin nature to me and brought me to my knees in repentance more than parenting. Nothing has caused me to feel so completely outside the limits of my own knowledge and ability and forced me to seek God's guidance and direction than parenting. Nothing has caused me to understand God's hatred for sin more than when the the sin that so permeates this world has wounded my beloved children in some way. Nothing has helped me comprehend more fully how deep and unconditional God's for me is than my love for my precious children. God has used these years as a parent to stretch me and grow me far beyond what I would have thought possible before I had children and with each stretch a part of me has thought, "What was I thinking?!"

How Did This Happen?

2009-04-24T09:28:00.000-07:00

For most of this school year, my son Will has been behind on his regular schoolwork. With each speech and debate tournament he got a little more behind. I didn't complain because he was doing so much work for speech and debate. He was reading, researching, and writing constantly. Some homeschool parents would have added up all that he was doing for speech and debate and just counted that for school. He was putting in more hours than many public school kids do for all their schoolwork just in his speech and debate work. Still, I knew in college he would have to balance his regular classes with his speech and debate work so I thought it would be good for him to have to balance debate and schoolwork now.

After we got back from the State Championship tournament, I told him that I wanted him to finish all his schoolwork before his graduation on May 15. I felt that was achieveable if he worked diligently. However, I honestly expected a bit of a battle for him to get it all done on time.

I am blown away. In just four days he has finished everything except two tests and one book that needs to be read. He will do the tests today and can easily read the book, The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis, over the next couple weeks. In addition, he needs to write two speeches. Our Pastor asked him to give a short speech in Church this Sunday and he will be giving a speech at the graduation ceremony on May 15. (Just a few short years ago, I would have been very concerned about him having to write something but I am not the least concerned about him finishing his speeches in time and I am confident they will be good speeches.) So, for all practical purposes, after he takes those tests today, he will be done with homeschool and I will be hanging up my homeschool teacher hat.

How did this happen? All year my son has been behind on his regular schoolwork because of speech and debate and now he is practically done with three weeks left before graduation. With all the work he did this week I had a marathon grading session last night, going over all his work and grading it. I was concerned that by doing so much so quickly he might not have done his best work and, yes, there were a couple of questions in all the hundreds that I know he knows and yet he got them wrong. However, over all he did extremely well. The majority of assignments were clear As with a smattering of Bs.

How did this happen? That energetic little boy who struggled to learn to read and who couldn't write legibly to save his life, the wriggly little boy who needed me to stay on top of him constantly to keep him focused on his schoolwork, the busy little boy who wanted to run, jump, and roller-blade (he practically lived in his roller-blades) instead of sitting still, the motor-mouth little boy who had to talk constantly even when he was supposed to be quiet, where did he go? How did he turn into this excellent reader and writer who can focus and stay on task, who can keep track of dozens of arguments in a debate round and can speak clearly, thoughtfully and in a well-organized manner? Where did the mischievous little boy go and who replaced him with this almost man-like creature?

When I first started homeschooling an eternity ago, the road stretched out before me with no end in sight. It was easy to forget that one day there would be an end, that one day we would reach a destination and get off the homeschool highway. I was driving full speed, expecting to travel a few more miles yet and I came around a corner and unexpectedly there was my exit. I had to quickly change lanes to take the exit. The driving had become difficult at times in these last years and I have gotten tired so I am glad to have reached the end of the journey but at the same time I feel a little lost. I know that there are good things in store for me at this new destination but I haven't discovered them yet. I must explore and get familiar with this new place. I feel like I have homeschooled forever and yet, at the same time, I wonder how I got here so quickly. How did this happen?

There's No Place Like Home!

2009-04-18T17:10:00.000-07:00

We are HOME! "Home," what a wonderful word.

The tournament was not as exhausting as most. Most tournaments go from 7:30 each morning until about 9 at night. While this tournament started at 7:30 each morning it ended at6:30 or 7 every evening except the last night in which the awards ceremony ended at about 9pm. We actually were able to get a decent night's sleep most nights.

I am so proud of my son, Will. He competed against the best speakers and debaters from all over California. In Debate, he and his partner Alyssa won three of their six rounds. Will won eighteenth place speaker. Speaker awards are based on how well you speak in debate not on whether you win or lose the debate round. In Extemporaneous, Will spoke well and did his best. In Apologetics, Will broke to semi-finals. This was not enough to will him a definite spot at Nationals. However, the NCFCA has a complicated formula so that those who consistently do well at tournaments but don't win a spot at Nationals out-right can win a spot for their consistent performance. Will is fifth in line for one of these spots in Apologetics. We will not know for about two weeks how many spots will be awarded in this category. Therefore, poor Will has a couple more weeks of waiting and wondering.

Early in the tournament my husband met a man whose son is fairly new to debate. My husband suggested he watch an Apologetics round. Unbeknownst to my husband at the time this man has written several books on Apologetics, one of which we own and have read. This man not only took my husband's suggestion to watch but decided to judge a round. It just so happened that the man judged one of Will's Apologetics rounds. (Of course, he didn't know Will was the son of the man who suggested he watch Apologetics.) Later my husband saw him again and they talked. My hubby was so impressed with this man's observations about the round he had judged that he called Will over and they talked for a while. (He didn't tell Will how he had ranked him in the round because that's against the rules.) After the tournament was all over and Will got his ballots, we found that this author/apologist ranked Will first in the room. The other judges in the room who were mostly parents of contestants in other rooms ranked other speakers higher. I think it is significant that a professional Apologist thought Will did the best job. I am just so proud of my son.

Now for some pictures:

Will with the other Apologetics semi-finalists.
(Will is in the middle left area in a gray suit.
His face is partly covered by someones head.)

Will with others who won Speaker Awards.
(Will is in the back row center.)

Will with the others who are waiting on pins and needles to find out if they will win a spot at Nationals for their consistent good showing in Apologetics.
(Will is near the center in the gray suit.)

There was a special time of exhortation and prayer for all the high school seniors who would soon be graduating. It is always a special and moving time at the state championship tournament.
(Will is in the right half of the photo, right behind the girl in the brown suit.)

Over the last couple years we have traveled so much for our son's speech and debate. It feels so good to be home and to know that we won't have to go anywhere further than Santa Cruz to pick up our daughter from college in the next couple months.

We are home! Our weekends can now be spent doing yard work and our neighbors can rejoice that in time our house will no longer look like a foreclosed home. We will no longer be on the go all the time.

We have reached the end of one season of our lives and entered a new season. We hugged and said good-bye to many friends that we have made over the years of our involvement in NCFCA speech and debate. Most we will probably never see again. Therefore, we have mixed feelings. My husband and I are tired of the pace that having a child seriously involved in speech and debate requires. We are glad that this season is about over and we will be able to get our lives back. At the same time we have met some wonderful people and will miss them.

If Will ends up getting a spot at Nationals, we will be traveling to South Carolina in June, otherwise, our traveling days are over. That is .... until we take our son to college in Southern California in August.

2009-04-17T19:04:00.001-07:00

Will broke to semi-finals in Apologetics at the state championship tournament. I am so proud.

On the Road Again!

2009-04-14T07:37:00.000-07:00

This morning I am going to a Ladies Bible Study. When I get home we will eat lunch, pack and hit the road. Starting at 4pm tonight my son will be competing in the State/Regional championship for Speech and Debate. The tournament is in Modesto and will run from this evening (Tuesday) evening through late Friday night. We will come home on Saturday. Will is competing in Team Policy Debate, Apologetics and Extemporaneous. His hope is to qualify to go to the National Tournament which will be in South Carolina in June. I probably won't have any computer access while we are gone. Catch you all on the flip side.

He's Alive!

2009-04-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Renew Me

2009-04-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Everyday, this is the cry of my heart:

Renew Me (Avalon 2004 Release Album Version) - Avalon

Why am I such a dusty window
For your light to shine through?
Why am I just a tiny star
In a sky already blue?
Why do I offer everything
With my heart closed like a fist?
I want to love You better than this

Why do I live like I'm in chains
When You have set me free?
And why do I have to break Your heart
Before I fall to my knees?
I know it's time to pray for change
Give all I have to give
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me

I need Your power to renew me, Lord, yeah
I need to know You're moving through me, Lord

I need You as my refuge
My first and last resort
Be the river always running
Through my deepest thoughts
Keep me in Your arms
'Cause even when I drift
I want to love You better than this

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me

My life bending to Your will
Seeking You until I'm more and more like You

So renew me, Remake me
Undo me, Unbreak me
Come into the empty spaces
Of my broken places
And consume me, Complete me
Pursue me, Redeem me
Let Your Holy Spirit living through me
Renew me

Time to Rest

2009-04-06T09:47:00.000-07:00

The tournament in Santa Rosa went well. Will semi-finaled in Apologetics and Extemporaneous. Although he did not break in Impromptu he felt that he gave the best Impromptu speech he had ever given and was happy about that. The State/Regional Championship tournament starts a week from tomorrow so Will's focus for the next week will be to get ready for this all important tournament. He will be competing in three events there: Team Policy Debate, Apologetics and Extemporaneous. This tournament will determine whether he gets to go to the National Tournament in South Carolina or not.

We got home from Santa Rosa at 11:30 pm on Saturday night. Sunday was church and I had nursery duty. I really enjoy serving in the nursery but I did wish that I had been scheduled for a different week as I was feeling very tired. It went well and I enjoyed my time but came home very tired and took a long afternoon nap. In spite of the long nap yesterday I am feeling pretty worn out. My throat is scratchy and I feel like I am fighting a cold. I plan to take it easy today since I will have a busy day tomorrow.

Two to Go

2009-04-02T09:19:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning we leave for yet another tournament. This one is in Santa Rosa and it is a Speech only tournament - no debate - which means it won't be quite as packed and it is only two days long. I personally enjoy watching the Speeches more than Debate so this should be an enjoyable tournament.

At this tournament Will will be competing in Apologetics, Extemporaneous, Original Oratory (OO) and Impromptu. Will is qualified for the State/Regional tournament in three events - Apologetics, Extemporaneous, and, of course, Team Policy Debate. This Speech tournament will be his last change to qualify for State/Regionals in Original Oratory (OO) and Impromptu. He doesn't really care about Impromptu but is working hard on his OO.

The State/Regional Championship tournament will be in mid-April in Modesto. That means there are only two tournaments left not counting the National tournament which is in June. I must admit I will be glad when the roller-coaster ride of tournaments and Speech and Debate Classes is over. Just a few weeks left of this fast pace. Even if Will ends up qualifying for Nationals (to be determined at the State/Regionals) we will have a two month break between the State/Regional tournament and Nationals. We will have time to focus on other things. Will will finally have time to finish his regular schoolwork before his graduation.

Oh, if you are local, save the date May 15 at 7pm. That is when Will's graduation ceremony is taking place. He will be graduating with five other students from our homeschool group and he will be giving a speech at the graduation. I'm still working on the invitations but will hopefully get them out after this tournament. Speaking of the tournament... I better go start organizing what we need to bring.

What I Know with Great Confidence

2009-03-30T10:14:00.000-07:00

As long as life endures:

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. Psalm 28:7

Update

2009-03-28T12:50:00.000-07:00

Jennifer is doing better. She is tired and still a little feverish but not like last night. The doctor did all kinds of tests so we will see if anything comes back positive. My husband is back with our son at the tournament. Poor man is very tired. I hope he can get a nap somehow.

I went to a memorial service this morning for the daughter of a dear lady in our church. She fought a long hard battle with cancer but now she is healed and in the arms of her savior. Between last night and the service this morning I feel emotionally drained. It is beautiful out. I'm tired but I think I'm going to get out and do something.